Well I have to say that it is really cool of you guys to have a party for me, just one little thing you forgot was too invite me.
Anyway since you all seem to have your panties in a little bit of a bunch, it is called having a bit of intelligence and I will hopefully lay out in enough detail my thought process so you can understand how I have been so lucky to not be an idiot. I call it pulling a Tim Tebow.
1 Gee, since I am playing a colonel (pronounced like kernel for the layman) on a map I have never seen before, and it is a tournament where everyone chooses a home map, I would assume my opponent has played it before, and that he is most likely good at it.
2 So, I prayed to god for some help, but then realized I was an atheist so that didn't help
3 However, since god is so loving and caring, even though I am introvert, he shined his mighty light below me and in a dream told me to look at the past games my opponent had played. I noticed where he deployed and how he moved.
4 After this I converted to Christianity, was baptized and the like... 9 years elapse ...I realize that the territs to the left of access point are essentially useless. It also somehow dawns on me that if I attack him and I lose badly and don't do damage, he will wipe me out from the important part of the map.
5 I'm sorry to admit that this premonition of greatness that I somehow had played this map and that I wasn't an imbecile was due to cheating rather than the all mighty looking down upon my favorably.
PS to iAmCaffeine especially
I am honored that you would stalk me, and you went through the tournament stuff to find me and report me. I am even more honored that you couldn't let it go. And the cherry on top is that we get to play each other!!! If I don't get a concussion or die tomorrow, (which I would say are pretty likely occurrences considering my "luck" is due to run out) I would give it a 40% chance that their is a 100% chance that I'm gonna look at your prior games on Galapagos later. Better hide them, oh wait, you can't.