perchorin wrote:Due to the fact that the last game in Berlin took 35 rounds, the remaining members of the competition missed the last flight out of Berlin.
"What are we gonna do now guys?" asked GregDavidson.
"Hellfire and tarnation, we're sure in a pickle now ain't we boys?" said TX AG 90.
"To be sure, we may as well just get drunk." suggested GreenBaize.
Suddenly out of the radioactive ash stepped geko and moudy, covered in the blood of poor ol' macbone. "Looks like you ran into the business end of a dropbear out there mates. Even an Aussie bird wouldn't shag you now." deadpanned kiwi3.
True to his name, moudy sulked over to a dark corner and refused to say a word, but geko (also ignoring kiwi3's jibes) waited patiently for the chitchat to die down. He had made a shocking discovery during the last fight. "It turned out that macbone was a mole--he was working with the KGB the whole time!"
arno30 looked like he was having a stroke when he heard this news. Poor guy, he's come so close to death already so many times--how much more can the old man's ticker take? "Gee whiz geko, how do you figure that?" queried GregDavidson.
geko replied, "As I was looting macbone's corpse, I found his KGB ID card, maps to the secret KGB base underneath Hohenschönhausen, and an autographed pciture of Nikita Khruschev wearing nothing but a smile."
"Ewwww!" cried the group in unison.
"I know, right?" said geko. Finally moudy rejoined the circle and, in his best Batman voice said "We've got a date in Hohenschönhausen then."
"Woooooooo-eeeeeeee! I love killing me some commies!" shouted TX AG 90 to which GreenBaize added "f*ck em all and let the good lord sort em out I say."
They were about to leave when arno30 suddenly realized perchorin was nowhere to be seen. In fact, the last time anyone had seen him he was at the head of a massive stack of troops rampaging through berlin, drunk on an orgy of destruction in
Game 10443352.
"We can't leave perch behind, I wouldn't be here without him!" cried arno30.
"Yeah but I can do without the smell" sniped kiwi3.
"Golly fellas, look at that last game--perchorin's stack ended up in Prenzlauer Berg! That's right next to Hohenschönhausen!" the always eager young GregDavidson pointed out.
"I bet the wanker's already there, let's shove off and we'll run into him along the way." said GreenBaize. So the group trudged through the ruins of Berlin, only stopping briefly in Tiergarten because GreenBaize misread the sign and thought it said "Biergarten".
Finally they arrived in Hohenschönhausen, the only signs of perchorin seen along the way were
electric fans left running in closed rooms to kill off any survivors.
"That crazy motherfu..." TX AG 90 couldn't get the rest of the words out of his mouth. There before them, straight out of a 1950's horror flick, was the most obvious mad science laboratory any of them had ever seen. There were even Tesla coils shooting lightning through the air.
"Wow" said GregDavidson.
"f*ck me!" added kiwi3.
"What a tired old cliche" remarked arno30.
This was apparently the KGB base in Hohenschönhausen and it was used for their top secret experiments in mind control drugs and microwave oven technology. All the guards were dead, having succumbed to a particularly virulent strain of
St. Vitus' Dance. The group of adventurers carefully entered the compound, on the lookout for booby traps (or in geko's case, boobies) but everything was quiet...almost too quiet.
Suddenly moudy's ears perked up. He was the most sensitive of the group of course. "I hear a sound coming from several floors below" he growled, still desperately trying to sound like Christian Bale in a cape.
The elevators being broken, they made their way down the stairs, deeper and deeper into the bowels of the KGB's house of horrors. Finally they saw a light coming from the cracks under two heavy steel doors at the end of the corridor. They could also smell something funny. Cautiously they made their way down the hall. The steel doors seemed to be bolted shut from the inside, so TX AG 90 slapped GreenBaize around for a bit until he was in a berserker rage and smashed headfirst through the 6 inch thick steel doors. Sitting there in his pajamas, smoking....something was perchorin!
"Hey buds, glad you could make it!" he said.
perchorin had basically become Jeff Spicoli from "Fast Times at Ridgmont High" somehow. "Dudes, come try some of this primo shit the KGB left laying around down here--it's AWESOME!"
You didn't have to tell this group twice, they were on those pipes like newborn babes at the teat. All except for GregDavidson that is.
"Gosh fellas, I sure don't know about this...My mom told me smoking is bad and I don't think the KGB had recreation in mind with that stuff either." But as we've all learned from countless 'a very special episode of ______' over the years, peer pressure is a bitch and soon enough even lil' Greg was huffing and puffing away.
The End.
Oh Charleston? That's all in our minds man...
