Who doesn't love bicycles?

2dimes · Post by **2dimes** » Tue Jun 26, 2007 11:59 pm

This might be a little too much lovin' though.

http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.ht ... _page_id=2

Stopper, you know this guy?

Balsiefen · Post by **Balsiefen** » Wed Jun 27, 2007 2:37 am

Okaaay......

*edges away from laptop*

*edges back towards laptop*

*edges away again*

Skittles! · Post by **Skittles!** » Wed Jun 27, 2007 2:41 am

I'm wondering how he managed to actually have sex with it.

heavycola · Post by **heavycola** » Wed Jun 27, 2007 3:14 am

sometimes I do sit and stare at my bicycle with feelings of purest love, but i only want to stroke it and kiss it. Having sex with a bike is just weird, and like skittles says, how? HOW?

debra79 · Post by **debra79** » Wed Jun 27, 2007 4:32 am

Obviously Mrs Palmer and her five lovely daughters just weren't doing it for him anymore

DirtyDishSoap · Post by **DirtyDishSoap** » Wed Jun 27, 2007 5:52 am

well the good news was he didnt do it in full blown public...Now that would of been funny...And a new youtube video

Stopper · Post by **Stopper** » Wed Jun 27, 2007 7:05 am

I don't know the guy, but I see from the photograph in the piece that the bicycle in question is a girl's bike. I hope he used protection.

Anarchy Ninja · Post by **Anarchy Ninja** » Wed Jun 27, 2007 7:47 am

Otherwise he could have ended up with a whole bunch of baby tricycles?

Jehan · Post by **Jehan** » Wed Jun 27, 2007 7:51 am

those other stories are perhaps more disturbing, not perhaps, are more disturbing, excuse me now, i need to go eat my face.

0ojakeo0 · Post by **0ojakeo0** » Wed Jun 27, 2007 8:00 am

wow...

AlgyTaylor · Post by **AlgyTaylor** » Wed Jun 27, 2007 8:19 am

heavycola wrote:sometimes I do sit and stare at my bicycle with feelings of purest love, but i only want to stroke it and kiss it. Having sex with a bike is just weird, and like skittles says, how? HOW?

Use your imagination. I can think of a couple of ways that you *could* do it.

Why you'd want to is another matter entirely.

hecter · Post by **hecter** » Wed Jun 27, 2007 9:06 am

Who hasn't done this at one point in their life on a cold, lonely night in the middle of your 3 day long weekend biking trip?

phytoplankton · Post by **phytoplankton** » Wed Jun 27, 2007 9:47 am

I don't know about ya but I looooooove bicycles!

unriggable · Post by **unriggable** » Wed Jun 27, 2007 9:58 am

Same website:

Red the whole thing. It's really funny

Car sex man enjoys sex with cars
Friday, March 9, 2007

In stunning news that will have wide ranging implications for many years to come, a man has been found who likes having sex with cars.

The details of mechanic Chris Donald's alleged romantic vehicular liaisons have been unearthed by (naturally) The Sun - who claim that in addition to a large number of cars, Mr Donald has also done the dirty with two boats and a jetski.

Mr Donald apparently says that his sexual fetish may have been triggered by formative childhood experiences watching Knight Rider.

'When I was a young boy I used to see human qualities in cars,' he says. 'As I grew up I noticed I was having feelings towards cars and they began catching my eye in a certain way.'

He has also reportedly met up with at least twenty other people with similar fetishes, who have brought their cars over to him so that he can have sex with them.

His current paramour is a Jaguar X-Type with cream leather upholstery. He also gives many of his loves names, including Laura, a Peugeot 205, and a BMW 520i called Alexandria.

Mr Donald, according to The Sun, also maintains a website on which he writes erotic fiction about car-diddling, and has posted a manual entitled 'How to Make Love to a Car or Other Vehicle.'

Advice from the manual includes 'The tailpipe isn't the only option! If it interests you get hold of a silicon sleeve from Clone Zone or some other tool to make life easier on your tool' and 'Roleplay involving the car is another spice. Needless to say solo roleplay requires vivid imagination and the ability to suspend rational thought.'

The person who wrote the manual 'How to Make Love to a Car or Other Vehicle' also has a large number of blogs on which he hasn't written very much at all, and variously gives his real name as Richard or David, so make of that what you will. There are, however, a number of pictures of a truck called Marcus, who has a lovely pair of customised exhaust pipes.

Balsiefen · Post by **Balsiefen** » Wed Jun 27, 2007 10:15 am

Another good one

A farmer has replaced his wife's name on the family grave with a picture of his favourite cow.

Zivomir Nesic, 58, from Markovac, demanded his pre-ordered gravestone be changed after a row with his wife.

He said: 'I always said my wife was a cow so, if I'm going to have a cow on my grave, I would rather it was one I actually liked.'

hecter · Post by **hecter** » Wed Jun 27, 2007 10:18 am

Katie is such a dirty girl…

I quite like this quote:

Nasty car love story wrote:I held my position for a second.

heavycola · Post by **heavycola** » Wed Jun 27, 2007 1:38 pm

AlgyTaylor wrote:
heavycola wrote:sometimes I do sit and stare at my bicycle with feelings of purest love, but i only want to stroke it and kiss it. Having sex with a bike is just weird, and like skittles says, how? HOW?
Use your imagination. I can think of a couple of ways that you *could* do it.

Why you'd want to is another matter entirely.

could you pm me with those? k tks

hecter · Post by **hecter** » Wed Jun 27, 2007 1:44 pm

heavycola wrote:
AlgyTaylor wrote:
heavycola wrote:sometimes I do sit and stare at my bicycle with feelings of purest love, but i only want to stroke it and kiss it. Having sex with a bike is just weird, and like skittles says, how? HOW?
Use your imagination. I can think of a couple of ways that you *could* do it.

Why you'd want to is another matter entirely.
could you pm me with those? k tks

Just click my pic.

heavycola · Post by **heavycola** » Wed Jun 27, 2007 2:21 pm

hecter wrote:
heavycola wrote:
AlgyTaylor wrote:
heavycola wrote:sometimes I do sit and stare at my bicycle with feelings of purest love, but i only want to stroke it and kiss it. Having sex with a bike is just weird, and like skittles says, how? HOW?
Use your imagination. I can think of a couple of ways that you *could* do it.

Why you'd want to is another matter entirely.
could you pm me with those? k tks
Just click my pic.

i did, and something has awoken deep within me. Looks like Katie's had a but of underacrriage seepage, if ya know what I mean

diddle · Post by **diddle** » Wed Jun 27, 2007 2:25 pm

wow, but thats not too bad, their nothing wrong with expressing your love for someone, or something

btownmeggy · Post by **btownmeggy** » Thu Jun 28, 2007 10:19 am

a Scottish man has been charged with having simulated sex with a bicycle.

Why is this a crime???

hecter · Post by **hecter** » Thu Jun 28, 2007 10:22 am

btownmeggy wrote:
a Scottish man has been charged with having simulated sex with a bicycle.
Why is this a crime???

I think its the fact that he continued to do it as the cleaning staff looked on…

btownmeggy · Post by **btownmeggy** » Thu Jun 28, 2007 10:28 am

hecter wrote:
btownmeggy wrote:
a Scottish man has been charged with having simulated sex with a bicycle.
Why is this a crime???
I think its the fact that he continued to do it as the cleaning staff looked on…

Sounds like the maids are the ones without any common decency!

hecter · Post by **hecter** » Thu Jun 28, 2007 10:34 am

btownmeggy wrote:
hecter wrote:
btownmeggy wrote:
a Scottish man has been charged with having simulated sex with a bicycle.
Why is this a crime???
I think its the fact that he continued to do it as the cleaning staff looked on…
Sounds like the maids are the ones without any common decency!

It really does, doesn't it? Shouldn't somebody be able to have sex with what ever in-animate object he or she wants as long as it's done in private and the owners permission is given? Why can't somebody use a bicycle as a sex toy?