Chuck Norris

ranck3 · Post by **ranck3** » Mon Jan 08, 2007 3:53 pm

Chuck Norris is amazing...
Heres some Jokes about him:

1.Chuck Norris does not sleep... he waits...
2.The Boogie Man Checks his closet for Chuck norris
3.Chuck Norris does not read... he stares at the page till he gets the info he wants...
4.chaos is spelled C-H-U-C-K N-O-R-R-I-S
5.Chuck Norris Is the Reson waldo is hiding

This is the 1st Chuck Norris Page i Have made...
I will have many more... You can tell me jokes, events,things in the past chuck norris has done, and basicly anything that has to do with chuck norris... If i have not heard it before i will use it on the next page inclueing the username of the person that said it! "just reply with the stuff you wanted to say"

wcaclimbing · Post by **wcaclimbing** » Mon Jan 08, 2007 4:09 pm

i want chuck norris to beat your a$$.
this theread is spam.
i hate chuck norris.
you stole all of those jokes from another site. stealing is illegal

UCAbears · Post by **UCAbears** » Mon Jan 08, 2007 5:16 pm

^^^^ that would actually be called false advertisement and btw why do u care what he posts? dont open this tread if ur just gonna post about how much of a spam it is. btw I like spam. I prefer fried tho.

strike wolf · Post by **strike wolf** » Mon Jan 08, 2007 5:45 pm

Bruce Lee would kick Chuck Norris's ass.

Ham · Post by **Ham** » Mon Jan 08, 2007 10:02 pm

strike wolf wrote:Bruce Lee would kick Chuck Norris's ass.

Ditto

morph · Post by **morph** » Mon Jan 08, 2007 10:08 pm

hm my mother met chuck norris before he became famous... he was a jackass then.. and egos only grow with fame... so likely he is a bigger ass now...

Rasengan · Post by **Rasengan** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 1:10 am

chuck was cool but now that ang bak guy could beat him

MeDeFe · Post by **MeDeFe** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 3:00 am

The only good Chuck Norris joke:

Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.

rathersane · Post by **rathersane** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 4:02 pm

MeDeFe wrote:The only good Chuck Norris joke:

Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.

And he can kick his own ass!

dcowboys055 · Post by **dcowboys055** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 4:40 pm

alright my friend has a shirt of chuck norris facts these are ones i remember

chuck norris doesnt tea bag people, he potato sacks them...
when he falls in a puddle he doesnt get wet, the water gets chuck norris'd..
when chuck norris is going to be late, time better SLOW THE f*ck DOWN..
chuck norris fucks women around the world once they reach puberty, and so they bleed once a month...
Ttere is no theory of evolution. just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live...
chuck norris doesnt go hunting, he goes killing...

and a few from some website my friend found:
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up...
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs...
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris...

and my favorite,
chuck norris' hand is the only hand that beats a royal flush

dcowboys055 · Post by **dcowboys055** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 4:41 pm

i never knew CC had sensors

for dummies · Post by **for dummies** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 4:43 pm

chuck norris was offered a job one day to endorse a toliet paper company made for "manly men". Chuck replied, "Hell no. I don't take shit from nobody!"

Backglass · Post by **Backglass** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 5:00 pm

Chuck Norris jokes were funny & cool...about two years ago.

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

pyro55 · Post by **pyro55** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 5:00 pm

chuck norris's sperm once broke a condom, 3 birth control pills, and a brick wall to impregnat a women

cramill · Post by **cramill** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 7:06 pm

Chuck Norris is glorified in this internet toon: Ultimate Showdown

rathersane · Post by **rathersane** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 9:37 pm

"In Soviet Russia, internet toons are glorified in Chuck Norris."

-Yakov Smirnoff on Chuck Norris and Internet Toons

salvadevinemasse · Post by **salvadevinemasse** » Wed Jan 10, 2007 10:29 am

I have to admit I love chuck noris and his fighting skills.. If I didnt have a knee issue I'd most likely be taking martial arts in order to be able to be more like that fighting skill wise. I think its smart for people to take it and know how to defend themself.

What do you guys think? Should more people take martial arts to learn how to defend themself against someone who might, lets say, try to rob them or something?

How many of you take martial arts or have in the past? And how many months/years have you been into it? If your not taking it then why aren't you taking it?

It could save a life after all!

Salva-

Hoff · Post by **Hoff** » Wed Jan 10, 2007 10:35 am

MacGyver is better, and you all know it deep down inside.

salvadevinemasse · Post by **salvadevinemasse** » Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:19 am

Hoff wrote:MacGyver is better, and you all know it deep down inside.

now who's Macgyver again? hehehe, I'm kidding! I know who he is... I dont know if I like him better or not though...jury is still out on that one!
Salva-

Genghis Khant · Post by **Genghis Khant** » Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:58 am

salvadevinemasse wrote:What do you guys think? Should more people take martial arts to learn how to defend themselves against someone who might, lets say, try to rob them or something?

How many of you take martial arts or have in the past? And how many months/years have you been into it? If you're not taking it then why aren't you taking it?

It could save a life after all!

Salva-

I've been learning Wing Chun for 10 years and I'd recommend the martial arts to anyone. As a skinny long-haired hippie I used to get shit off some of the small-town knuckle-heads where I grew up. After six months of training I had a lot more confidence & felt able to walk about anywhere and meet people's gazes without looking away. I no longer looked like a victim or an easy target, so the idiots stopped trying it on. I'm pleased to say that I've never had to use my kung fu techniques on the street. Psychology on the other hand....

Don't let your knee stop you either. Obviously you'd want to avoid some of the more flamboyant styles, but something like Tai Chi Chuan (Taiji) or Bagua Chuan (Pa Kwa) would help strengthen your knee as well as teach you self defence. Just get yourself a knee support and find a good club, and be sure to let the instructor know about your knee trouble.

...by the way, Chuck Norris couldn't beat an egg if it hadn't all been choreographed for him first. Pussy.

MeDeFe · Post by **MeDeFe** » Wed Jan 10, 2007 12:09 pm

The knee is a highly efficient weapon against male opponents who have not taken special precautions.

Backglass · Post by **Backglass** » Wed Jan 10, 2007 3:31 pm

Genghis Khant wrote:I've been learning Wing Chun for 10 years

Everybody Wing Chun tonight.

P Gizzle · Post by **P Gizzle** » Wed Jan 10, 2007 3:47 pm

Backglass wrote:
Genghis Khant wrote:I've been learning Wing Chun for 10 years
Everybody Wing Chun tonight.

lol

pyro55 · Post by **pyro55** » Wed Jan 10, 2007 7:24 pm

did you know if we could capture one round house kick from chuck norris it would power every city in the world for 2000 years

kramsey06 · Post by **kramsey06** » Wed Jan 10, 2007 8:01 pm

jesus, zues, and Godzilla got in a fight, chuck Norris would win

Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris

i got one