How do christians masturbate?

Norse · Post by **Norse** » Sat Aug 18, 2007 8:48 pm

question...

Strife · Post by **Strife** » Sat Aug 18, 2007 8:51 pm

Well I'm not exactly sure... but I'd like to post a picture on what I think they do...

vtmarik · Post by **vtmarik** » Sat Aug 18, 2007 8:52 pm

They do it the same way as everyone else, but with +2 shame penalty added on.

However, if they have a high enough charisma stat, the penalty goes away.

Norse · Post by **Norse** » Sat Aug 18, 2007 8:52 pm

yes, i'm sure it is a repulsive sight...what with some fat-assed christian poking his or her cock through a crucifix.

salvadevinemasse · Post by **salvadevinemasse** » Sat Aug 18, 2007 8:56 pm

LMFAO!!! NORSE your fucking priceless man!!!!! Okay I'm more with VT here... its at least +2 shame... and maybe a sacrifice of a bird that bleeds on their wall...Hows that for a sick twist...PLEASE DONT KILL THE BIRDS!

salvadevinemasse · Post by **salvadevinemasse** » Sat Aug 18, 2007 8:57 pm

opps didnt mean to double post

Norse · Post by **Norse** » Sat Aug 18, 2007 9:00 pm

salvadevinemasse wrote:LMFAO!!! NORSE your fucking priceless man!!!!! Okay I'm more with VT here... its at least +2 shame... and maybe a sacrifice of a bird that bleeds on their wall...Hows that for a sick twist...PLEASE DONT KILL THE BIRDS!

OMG only +2??

so some fat chick called 'delia' who sticks her cock into a peice of shaped wood is only +2 shame?

thats like me going out and ass-fucking a camel.....which is a regular occurance for me.

salvadevinemasse · Post by **salvadevinemasse** » Sat Aug 18, 2007 9:22 pm

Norse wrote:
salvadevinemasse wrote:LMFAO!!! NORSE your fucking priceless man!!!!! Okay I'm more with VT here... its at least +2 shame... and maybe a sacrifice of a bird that bleeds on their wall...Hows that for a sick twist...PLEASE DONT KILL THE BIRDS!
OMG only +2??

so some fat chick called 'delia' who sticks her cock into a peice of shaped wood is only +2 shame?

thats like me going out and ass-fucking a camel.....which is a regular occurance for me.

LMFAO!! I soooooo Missed this site because of the people on here.. i'm happy to be back

DAZMCFC · Post by **DAZMCFC** » Sat Aug 18, 2007 9:58 pm

yes you will get use to norse the southern wanker, he is ok for a laugh.

dustn64 · Post by **dustn64** » Sat Aug 18, 2007 10:17 pm

Why didn't you just start this thread out in flame wars?

OnlyAmbrose · Post by **OnlyAmbrose** » Sat Aug 18, 2007 10:21 pm

ahem.

http://www.conquerclub.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=25831

Nephilim · Post by **Nephilim** » Sat Aug 18, 2007 10:36 pm

vtmarik wrote:They do it the same way as everyone else, but with +2 shame penalty added on.

However, if they have a high enough charisma stat, the penalty goes away.

this is arguably the best response i have ever seen in CC forums.....

and norse, how does one go about shoving a cock thru a crucifix? is there a hole in most of them? what am i missing here?

and wtf do crucifixes have to do w/ christian masturbation? silly fucker.....

meme · Post by **meme** » Sat Aug 18, 2007 11:42 pm

OnlyAmbrose, the link you posted won't open.

2dimes · Post by **2dimes** » Sat Aug 18, 2007 11:59 pm

Here you go meme this one will open.

NSFW

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOUYqXi9 ... ed&search=

Kayla · Post by **Kayla** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 12:05 am

Christians don't masturbate. jesus himself said lust is a sin.

Coleman · Post by **Coleman** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 12:16 am

Perhaps someone with more biblical knowledge could correct me here. I've read the bible several times, there doesn't seem to be anything shunning premarital sex, or masturbation.

So how the hell did this whole abstinence thing get started.

If you wish to claim that it is shunned, I want a bible verse (not taken out of context) to back it up.

MeDeFe · Post by **MeDeFe** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 1:27 am

vtmarik wrote:They do it the same way as everyone else, but with +2 shame penalty added on.

However, if they have a high enough charisma stat, the penalty goes away.

I lol'd

And I agree with Nephilim, this is one of the best responses seen on CC so far.

Hitman079 · Post by **Hitman079** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 2:34 am

Coleman wrote:Perhaps someone with more biblical knowledge could correct me here. I've read the bible several times, there doesn't seem to be anything shunning premarital sex, or masturbation.

So how the hell did this whole abstinence thing get started.

If you wish to claim that it is shunned, I want a bible verse (not taken out of context) to back it up.

there is no specific verse in the Bible that shuns it, you are right. masturbation itself is OK, but the lust that provokes it in the first place isn't. if you want to see a full-fledged debate, look at:
http://www.conquerclub.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=23289

MeDeFe · Post by **MeDeFe** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 8:43 am

Oh well, time to make a half-assed attempt at being controversial.

Norse · Post by **Norse** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 12:09 pm

Nephilim wrote:
vtmarik wrote:They do it the same way as everyone else, but with +2 shame penalty added on.

However, if they have a high enough charisma stat, the penalty goes away.

and norse, how does one go about shoving a cock thru a crucifix? is there a hole in most of them? what am i missing here?

and wtf do crucifixes have to do w/ christian masturbation? silly fucker.....

I don't know...you tell me. This is why I'm asking, since I don't know

Because presumebly Christians, being so attatched to their faith use crucifixes as a means to 'getting oneselves lob on'.

Dancing Mustard · Post by **Dancing Mustard** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 1:25 pm

I heard that they do it while gazing at a picture of me and chanting the Hail Mary.

But that was only on wikipedia, so it might not be all Christians. Maybe just Catholics...

Aegnor · Post by **Aegnor** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 2:51 pm

I'm not sure about masturbation but I'm sure they climax when those crazy evangelistic preachers touch them to "save their souls".

Anarchy Ninja · Post by **Anarchy Ninja** » Mon Aug 20, 2007 1:19 am

MeDeFe wrote:Oh well, time to make a half-assed attempt at being controversial.

Sinfest=Best. Comic. Ever.

And VT:

AndrewLC · Post by **AndrewLC** » Tue Aug 21, 2007 1:23 am

Like this:

Kayla · Post by **Kayla** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 6:23 am

Matthew 5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

James 1:14 But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. 15 Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death

1 John 2:16 16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.