Ask The Love Doctor

clapper011 · Post by **clapper011** » Sun Aug 05, 2007 11:57 pm

Alright since so many of you seem to ask me your questions concerning love/relationship.....not that I think I'm at all good about it..but here you all go now you can ask away and get advice from me and whoever else wants to answer

enjoy ..oh..and keep it somewhat clean please or I won't answer

static_ice · Post by **static_ice** » Mon Aug 06, 2007 12:03 am

I don't know who to choose, you see there's Saddam, I used to be with him, and I'm attracted to him and all, but I'm afraid he'll hurt me again. Then there's Chris, I feel so safe with him but I'm not attracted to him at all? what should I do?

Skittles! · Post by **Skittles!** » Mon Aug 06, 2007 12:04 am

static_ice wrote:I don't know who to choose, you see there's Saddam, I used to be with him, and I'm attracted to him and all, but I'm afraid he'll hurt me again. Then there's Chris, I feel so safe with him but I'm not attracted to him at all? what should I do?

What about me

UCAbears · Post by **UCAbears** » Mon Aug 06, 2007 12:06 am

static_ice wrote:I don't know who to choose, you see there's Saddam, I used to be with him, and I'm attracted to him and all, but I'm afraid he'll hurt me again. Then there's Chris, I feel so safe with him but I'm not attracted to him at all? what should I do?

It was suppose to be satan and saddam. thats whats on southpark atleast.

static_ice · Post by **static_ice** » Mon Aug 06, 2007 12:07 am

UCAbears wrote:
static_ice wrote:I don't know who to choose, you see there's Saddam, I used to be with him, and I'm attracted to him and all, but I'm afraid he'll hurt me again. Then there's Chris, I feel so safe with him but I'm not attracted to him at all? what should I do?
It was suppose to be satan and saddam. thats whats on southpark atleast.

yes I was speaking from the viewpoint of satan, that one episode where he can't choose between saddam and his new boyfriend, Chris

clapper011 · Post by **clapper011** » Mon Aug 06, 2007 12:09 am

static_ice wrote:
UCAbears wrote:
static_ice wrote:I don't know who to choose, you see there's Saddam, I used to be with him, and I'm attracted to him and all, but I'm afraid he'll hurt me again. Then there's Chris, I feel so safe with him but I'm not attracted to him at all? what should I do?
It was suppose to be satan and saddam. thats whats on southpark atleast.
yes I was speaking from the viewpoint of satan, that one episode where he can't choose between saddam and his new boyfriend, Chris

well sorry but I can't help you there....I don't watch south park so I have no idea what in the heck you are talking about

static_ice · Post by **static_ice** » Mon Aug 06, 2007 12:11 am

clapper011 wrote:
static_ice wrote:
UCAbears wrote:
static_ice wrote:I don't know who to choose, you see there's Saddam, I used to be with him, and I'm attracted to him and all, but I'm afraid he'll hurt me again. Then there's Chris, I feel so safe with him but I'm not attracted to him at all? what should I do?
It was suppose to be satan and saddam. thats whats on southpark atleast.
yes I was speaking from the viewpoint of satan, that one episode where he can't choose between saddam and his new boyfriend, Chris
well sorry but I can't help you there....I don't watch south park so I have no idea what in the heck you are talking about

just pretend the first post is serious

clapper011 · Post by **clapper011** » Mon Aug 06, 2007 12:12 am

static_ice wrote:
clapper011 wrote:
static_ice wrote:
UCAbears wrote:
static_ice wrote:I don't know who to choose, you see there's Saddam, I used to be with him, and I'm attracted to him and all, but I'm afraid he'll hurt me again. Then there's Chris, I feel so safe with him but I'm not attracted to him at all? what should I do?
It was suppose to be satan and saddam. thats whats on southpark atleast.
yes I was speaking from the viewpoint of satan, that one episode where he can't choose between saddam and his new boyfriend, Chris
well sorry but I can't help you there....I don't watch south park so I have no idea what in the heck you are talking about
just pretend the first post is serious

unless you want to burn in hell..I sugest going with chris then..there better?

static_ice · Post by **static_ice** » Mon Aug 06, 2007 12:16 am

clapper011 wrote:
static_ice wrote:
clapper011 wrote:
static_ice wrote:
UCAbears wrote:
static_ice wrote:I don't know who to choose, you see there's Saddam, I used to be with him, and I'm attracted to him and all, but I'm afraid he'll hurt me again. Then there's Chris, I feel so safe with him but I'm not attracted to him at all? what should I do?
It was suppose to be satan and saddam. thats whats on southpark atleast.
yes I was speaking from the viewpoint of satan, that one episode where he can't choose between saddam and his new boyfriend, Chris
well sorry but I can't help you there....I don't watch south park so I have no idea what in the heck you are talking about
just pretend the first post is serious
unless you want to burn in hell..I sugest going with chris then..there better?

good answer I guess but God's advice is to dump them both and stay single for a while to get to know yourself

Syzygy · Post by **Syzygy** » Mon Aug 06, 2007 11:47 am

Dear Clapper

Recently I met a wonderful girl and I felt as if I were falling deeply in love. That is, until, things started getting wierd in the bedroom. She's a dentist and it turns out she has an obsession with teeth, or rather, more specifically fangs. Anyway, she bit into my neck in a moment of excitable passion and nearly pierced my jugular! She is a wonderful women, except for her fetish. I really want to stay with her, but I fear that I'm riskng exsanguination here! What should I do?

Signed
Haemophilia Patient

GolemGhoul · Post by **GolemGhoul** » Mon Aug 06, 2007 11:48 am

Dear Clapper,

I recently got some 'no preggers for you' pills. Would it be a bad idea for someone to ride me bareback? Thanks.

-GG-

kwanton · Post by **kwanton** » Mon Aug 06, 2007 11:49 am

Dear Clapper:

How long do you think it's gonna take for the internet pervs to find this thread?

Wait. I'm already here

hulmey · Post by **hulmey** » Mon Aug 06, 2007 11:51 am

honey im home

hulmey · Post by **hulmey** » Mon Aug 06, 2007 11:52 am

i got a furry bunny rabbit and im sure it loves me coz its always looking at me and smiling.

what do you think i should do Aunty Clapper?

clapper011 · Post by **clapper011** » Mon Aug 06, 2007 11:59 am

Syzygy wrote:Dear Clapper

Recently I met a wonderful girl and I felt as if I were falling deeply in love. That is, until, things started getting wierd in the bedroom. She's a dentist and it turns out she has an obsession with teeth, or rather, more specifically fangs. Anyway, she bit into my neck in a moment of excitable passion and nearly pierced my jugular! She is a wonderful women, except for her fetish. I really want to stay with her, but I fear that I'm riskng exsanguination here! What should I do?

Signed
Haemophilia Patient

lol
did you try biting her back?

clapper011 · Post by **clapper011** » Mon Aug 06, 2007 12:00 pm

GolemGhoul wrote:Dear Clapper,

I recently got some 'no preggers for you' pills. Would it be a bad idea for someone to ride me bareback? Thanks.

-GG-

wait how old are you?

clapper011 · Post by **clapper011** » Mon Aug 06, 2007 12:01 pm

kwanton wrote:Dear Clapper:

How long do you think it's gonna take for the internet pervs to find this thread?

Wait. I'm already here

clapper011 · Post by **clapper011** » Mon Aug 06, 2007 12:01 pm

hulmey wrote:i got a furry bunny rabbit and im sure it loves me coz its always looking at me and smiling.

what do you think i should do Aunty Clapper?

pet that furry bunny rabbit

Norse · Post by **Norse** » Mon Aug 06, 2007 12:06 pm

Right..

I'm a tall, handsome chap, and I want to know a fail safe way of pulling girls whenevr I want to. I've used rohypnol and extreme levels of alcohol, which worked fine, but the policeman said I couldn't do it anymore.

what other ways are there?

clapper011 · Post by **clapper011** » Mon Aug 06, 2007 12:09 pm

Norse wrote:Right..

I'm a tall, handsome chap, and I want to know a fail safe way of pulling girls whenevr I want to. I've used rohypnol and extreme levels of alcohol, which worked fine, but the policeman said I couldn't do it anymore.

what other ways are there?

try using that good ol charm of yours norse

OnlyAmbrose · Post by **OnlyAmbrose** » Mon Aug 06, 2007 12:18 pm

Dear clapper,

I pity your clientèle. Clearly they have no female friends in real life to ask for advice, so they ask a girl on the internet. But I applaud your efforts- they need all the help they can get.

Signed,

OnlyAmbrose

GolemGhoul · Post by **GolemGhoul** » Mon Aug 06, 2007 12:22 pm

clapper011 wrote:
GolemGhoul wrote:Dear Clapper,

I recently got some 'no preggers for you' pills. Would it be a bad idea for someone to ride me bareback? Thanks.

-GG-
wait how old are you?

I'm only 12, genius.

GolemGhoul · Post by **GolemGhoul** » Mon Aug 06, 2007 12:23 pm

clapper011 wrote:
Norse wrote:Right..

I'm a tall, handsome chap, and I want to know a fail safe way of pulling girls whenevr I want to. I've used rohypnol and extreme levels of alcohol, which worked fine, but the policeman said I couldn't do it anymore.

what other ways are there?
try using that good ol charm of yours norse

oh god its so tempting to just say it but the fear or someone getting offended is hovering over me and ya know this isn't flames so . . . RAEP TIEM!!!

Norse · Post by **Norse** » Mon Aug 06, 2007 12:26 pm

GolemGhoul wrote:
clapper011 wrote:
Norse wrote:Right..

I'm a tall, handsome chap, and I want to know a fail safe way of pulling girls whenevr I want to. I've used rohypnol and extreme levels of alcohol, which worked fine, but the policeman said I couldn't do it anymore.

what other ways are there?
try using that good ol charm of yours norse
oh god its so tempting to just say it but the fear or someone getting offended is hovering over me and ya know this isn't flames so . . . RAEP TIEM!!!

woohoo! it's like christmas and easter rolled into one delightful bundle.

Nephilim · Post by **Nephilim** » Mon Aug 06, 2007 12:29 pm

my my, clapper, i can't believe you started this thread for any other reason besides getting some sick perverted shit going on here.

you are much nastier than i thought