The rain had already started when the last carriage came up the drive. Before dinner, each noble guest invited to Blackpool Manor received one card, sealed in red.
No one saw who sent them.
The gates were open. A footman waited under the porch.
“Show me your Invitation if you will my noble.”
Loose Canon got down first, already talking. “Honk. Hiss. Right. Who’s the baddun, then? Don’t all speak at once. I’m innocent, by the way. Write that down before someone starts a vote count.”
Annieh came in behind him, one glove off. “I’m up for whichever room has a fire. And Loose, if you’re going to scream at nothing, do it after I’ve counted the chairs. When you’re most confident you know who sat there, that’s when you’re most easily fooled.”
Inside, the clocks had been stopped at seven..
“This will be a long post some new arrived guest mumbled. "Sorry. Let’s read the table a bit. Places laid, chairs missing, one napkin used. I divide the room into seated and not-yet-seated. Probability both the empty place and the warm chair are nothing is low. I think I got it right. There is one mathematical pattern."
“I’m in, thanks,” he added, and he kept writing numbers."
Then Ragian arrived with his coat still buttoned. “I’ve looked at this now, and I fear the seating plan is underqualified. Also. Whoever wrote the cards spelled HottBunnie wrong. Two t’s. And it’s Ragian. Not Raging. Not Raggian. I’m an English teacher who happens to be at a murder dinner. Spell the handle or I will play hardball, Charles. I will have my eye on you!”
Before anybody noticed new guests arriving Loose slapped the table. And shouted, with dead certainty:
“1. Annie, less likely scum because she always tells the truth when she picks Homer.
2. Me. Innocent. Deny being the original anything. Or the whatever the baddun is called here?
3. Hjelp. One pattern. Always one pattern. I call tell.?
4. Bunnie. Too hott to handle, still not an excuse for a Raging Raggian.
5. Dev. Plus one in the car is a tell.
6. Charle. Come on, too obvious "join the fun?", none of us know.
7. Kong. Impressive past play. That’s why you watch him.
8. Homer. Wants to know who brings the drama?. Answer was me.
9. Ragian. Spell it right or he leaves.?
10. A chair that ate without us.??
That’s the baddun. Or the Narrator. I dunno. Or both. I’m going to scream now. It clears the chest.?”
Then Charles arrived and took his card out (but forgot to open it).
“Hey, we have a host whose eyes are only for the Hot Bunnies in the manor. Well, that’s probably also ok, as long as they don’t quote their cards. Annie seems to be the naughty one with HotBunnie. It would not surprise me if they were put together? Come on, Ragian. None of us know what’s in any game when Son!c hosts? So Loose, I have a feeling you wanted to do something in the boys’ room. They say men with big duck feet also have big shoe dicks?.?
Devante wiped his hands on his coat and glanced back at the drive.
Then: “You just can’t lynch a chair,” Ragian said and everybody agreed like he just said something unreal.
Hjelp looked up from his fractions. “Not quite. Probability the chair is nothing is not the same as probability it is someone. But if we lynch it and it flips house, I will have notes for that. And satanistics.; heu Stats..Probability the chair is nothing is not the same as probability it is something. "
I've received my invitation and I've accepted before October 13 as per the rules. My issue, however, is that October 17 at 7 o'c(l)ock (England time - or GMT if you prefer) I have prior engagements that last well into October 18. I hope everyone will grant me pardon for my tardy arrival. I shall do my utmost to make up for the lost time.
(Also, don't everyone get drunk before I get to the party.)
*Bunnie steps in from the rain folds her umbrella up and puts it in the stand. She is dressed to the nines and looks very, for lack of a better term, Bunnie. After taking a glance around the room and hearing everyone’s hellos she looks up at the host and states*
Confirmed
I have received invite and accept. Same questions as Ragian, do we have to be here on the 17th at 7 or is that just part of flavour of the game? Not sure if i'll be travelling for Hockey yet or not
2 deep fried eggs (crispy yet runny) (hens)
3 rashers of grilled smoked thick cut back bacon
3 cumberland sausages (each sliced in half then grilled)
fried tomatoes
fried mushrooms
baked beans (full salt and sugar)
black pudding
2 slices of fried bread
later,
I'm no longer Hangry and ready to hunt down this Patron
(Could have done with that pint to wash it down with)
Loose Canon wrote: Tue Oct 13, 2026 8:58 am
Well Dev
2 deep fried eggs (crispy yet runny) (hens)
3 rashers of grilled smoked thick cut back bacon
3 cumberland sausages (each sliced in half then grilled)
fried tomatoes
fried mushrooms
baked beans (full salt and sugar)
black pudding
2 slices of fried bread
later,
I'm no longer Hangry and ready to hunt down this Patron
(Could have done with that pint to wash it down with)
UNVOTE LCVOTE whoever does get this meal together for both of us, sounds delicious, now i'm getting hangry
Dear me, while I am most pleased to await this evening's dinner courses, as I hear the chef is most celebrated, I must insist on a cocktail post haste. You see, today's travels necessitated I skip my afternoon gimlet and oh how the hours drag on so tediously without proper refreshment.
Oh, a drink cart! Thank heavens.
Twooo shots of gin. *pop, gluggity, glug glug glug*
Annieh responded: “A gimlet is gin, Loose. Not giblet organ meat. Though if the chef is as celebrated as they say, he can probably do them both.”
Loose Canon then looked at the glass that was already in front of him.
Because the drinks had not been poured by any hand the guests could see.
Ragian cleared his throat. His own glass had refilled itself while he was speaking: “For the record, a gimlet sure is gin, lime, and sugar. A giblet is the heart, liver, and gizzard of a fowl."
Then he picked his drink up and poured the whole thing down in one go.
“Double scotch,” he said, (once he could speak again).
Charle took a careful sip of whatever had landed in front of him and nodded. “Come on. None of us know what’s in any drink when Son!c hosts. But this one is not bad. And Annie, you’re the naughty one if you keep ordering doubles before the soup.”
Loose Canon stared at his own glass. “If this is a double gin sonic, fine. It clears the chest.”
Outside, the last carriage stood in the rain. Is it Hjelp?
Remember: One double invitation awaits one.
But who knows if a stranger at the gates might still turn up late asking for dinner?
Gates close october 17th seven o'clock England time