Horrible jokes...continuation

Norse · Post by **Norse** » Wed May 30, 2007 3:48 pm

what is black, white and red?

A moderator, that I have bludgeoned to death and wrapped up in newspaper, because they closed the last joke thread

muy_thaiguy · Post by **muy_thaiguy** » Wed May 30, 2007 4:00 pm

Guess the jokes have to be "cleaned up" a bit eh?

Whats the difference between Attila and a brick? The brick graduated Kindergarten before Attila!

AK_iceman · Post by **AK_iceman** » Wed May 30, 2007 4:05 pm

Moved to the Funny Farm where it belongs.

Keep this one clean and within guidleines or it'll be locked down faster than a 30 account multi.

muy_thaiguy · Post by **muy_thaiguy** » Wed May 30, 2007 4:07 pm

All right, fine.

johnnyrotten · Post by **johnnyrotten** » Wed May 30, 2007 4:09 pm

4 chavs drive off a cliff in a Vauxhall Nova. Why is this a shame?

A Vauxhall Nova seats 5.

Huckleberryhound · Post by **Huckleberryhound** » Wed May 30, 2007 4:09 pm

I suppose the joke "how do you know your sister has her periods?" is out then

johnnyrotten · Post by **johnnyrotten** » Wed May 30, 2007 4:10 pm

I wish my lawn was emo. Then it would cut itself.

johnnyrotten · Post by **johnnyrotten** » Wed May 30, 2007 4:11 pm

I could tell the 'What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?' joke but wicked would probably get all pissy like normal.

Atilla · Post by **Atilla** » Wed May 30, 2007 4:12 pm

you know.. i was going to indirectly complement this guy with an "absolute power" speech.. but screw him

Huckleberryhound · Post by **Huckleberryhound** » Wed May 30, 2007 4:16 pm

What is brown and black , and hangs out a babys pram?

....a pitbull's arse.

Norse · Post by **Norse** » Wed May 30, 2007 4:16 pm

The chav and emo jokes are way too funny for this thread

the horse jokes-

a horse walks into a bar, and the bartender say "why the long face?"

a horse walks into a bar, and the bartender had to phone the farmer to tell him to remove the horse

a horse walks into a bar, and has a pint, and then died, cos beer was bad for it

a horse walks into a bar, "ouch"

johnnyrotten · Post by **johnnyrotten** » Wed May 30, 2007 4:19 pm

Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was assaulted.

Huckleberryhound · Post by **Huckleberryhound** » Wed May 30, 2007 4:23 pm

This kid and his folks are at the zoo, and he sees these two bears having sex...

"what are they doing daddy ?"

"eh....eh....they're making cakes"

"making cakes daddy?"

"eh...yeah, making cakes"

So after the zoo, they head to the carpark. At the entrance, ther are these two dogs fucking away....

"Daddy, what are those two dogs doing ?"

"eh......mmm...they're making cakes"

"making cakes daddy ?"

"yeah son, making cakes"

The kid is that tired after the trip to the zoo, he falls asleep early, but he gets up early too......

Chapp Chap at the bedroom door,,,,

"what is it son?"

"Daddy...were you and mum making cakes in the front room tonight ?"

"eh....yes son, how do you know that?"

"Coz I just licked the icing off the carpet"

Huckleberryhound · Post by **Huckleberryhound** » Wed May 30, 2007 4:39 pm

do i win a prize ?

Atilla · Post by **Atilla** » Wed May 30, 2007 4:45 pm

wow...

...
Girl goes to her dad and says " dad will you buy me a prom dress?"
dad says "suck my dick"
girl says "aww daddy"
dad says " suck my dick"
girl says "oh daddy your dick tastes like shit"
dad says " yeah, your brother wanted to borrow the car earlier"

got tonkaed · Post by **got tonkaed** » Wed May 30, 2007 4:48 pm

Atilla wrote:wow... ...
Girl goes to her dad and says " dad will you buy me a prom dress?"
dad says "suck my dick"
girl says "aww daddy"
dad says " suck my dick"
girl says "oh daddy your dick tastes like shit"
dad says " yeah, your brother wanted to borrow the car earlier"

let it be noted....that it was here that this thread took a turn for the worst.

Huckleberryhound · Post by **Huckleberryhound** » Wed May 30, 2007 4:48 pm

Kid's in the bath with his mother, and looks down between her legs....

"mummy, what's that thing there in the hair.?"

"eh....that's where your dad hit me with an axe."

"awww, good shot, right in the cunt"

Atilla · Post by **Atilla** » Wed May 30, 2007 4:51 pm

quick and cool

Atilla · Post by **Atilla** » Wed May 30, 2007 4:59 pm

this is some soft shit... but i've got a bluetick named "hucleberry hound".. honest truth

Gold Knight · Post by **Gold Knight** » Wed May 30, 2007 6:27 pm

What do you call a bunch of white people running down a hill?
Avalanche

What do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill?
Mudslide

What do you call a bunch of Puerto Ricans running down a hill?
Jailbreak

donkeylove · Post by **donkeylove** » Wed May 30, 2007 6:56 pm

A bear walks into a bar and says can I have a pint of........

.........Guiness please?

The barman asks 'why the big paws?'

donkeylove · Post by **donkeylove** » Wed May 30, 2007 6:59 pm

How many male chauvinists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, let the silly bitch wash up in the dark

civver · Post by **civver** » Wed May 30, 2007 7:12 pm

Gold Knight wrote:What do you call a bunch of white people running down a hill?
Avalanche

What do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill?
Mudslide

What do you call a bunch of Puerto Ricans running down a hill?
Jailbreak

You are inviting a mod reprisal.

unriggable · Post by **unriggable** » Wed May 30, 2007 7:17 pm

Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?

Because they don't have any balls to scratch.

Gold Knight · Post by **Gold Knight** » Wed May 30, 2007 7:35 pm

i dont see why the mods banned the jokes from the flame wars forum. The jokes are so much better when they have a nasty twist to them