Declarations of WAR - Round 5

[DoomYoshi]

This event is part of the GREAT WAR mega-event.

There were tons of declarations of war in the first year. Your job is to write what they should have sounded like. We start with the beginning of the war. Every day or so (when I have time), I will post a new country. Our judging panel will decide the best one. The best gets a battle token.

At the end of this event (just over 2 weeks long) there will be bonus prizes:
The overall most funny gets an extra battle token, as does the most creative and a random entry.
The player with the most tokens at the end gets a General Achievement medal.


ONLY DO THE DECLARATION AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS LIST!
July 28th - Austria-Hungary declares war on Serbia - Winner = iAmCaffeine
August 1st - Germany declares war on Russia - Winner = BuJaber
August 3rd - Germany declares war on France Winner = t4mcr53s2
August 4th- United Kingdom declares war on Germany Winner = t4mcr53s2
August 5th - Montenegro declares war on Austria-Hungary

All responses Posted in Thread

[macbone]

Austria-Hungary declares war on Serbia
Dudes, ok, totally not cool. You really shouldn't have gone and shot Franz Ferdinand. We know you've tried to make amends, but lads, it's just not cutting it. Time to die, bitches!

[elonpuckhog]

Austria-Hungary declares war on Serbia

It's two countries versus one. Let's get ready to rumble!

[Endgame422]

Austria-Hungary declares war on Serbia
Dear Serbia,
We here at the dual monarchies office of ethnic cleansing are pleased to inform you that you have been selected for a high honor(war of attrition)! Please expect our service technicians(artillery shelling) between the hours of 10 and 6. If you have any questions, comments or concerns please contact us on our(temporarily closed) open line of diplomacy.
We look forward to seeing you!
We know you have a choice in(state sponsored genocide) and would like to thank you for choosing the dual monarchy.
Sincerely,
Alexander von Krobatin
Minster of War

[iAmCaffeine]

July 28th - Austria-Hungary declares war on Serbia

Dear Serbia,

Bollocks.

[BuJaber]

Austria-Hungary declares war on Serbia

You said you'd bring it back.

-AH

[t4mcr53s2]

Austria-Hungary needs more land
so we declare war and
though it might disturb ya
we're gonna grab Serbia
for shooting Franz Ferdinand

[iAmCaffeine]

Can we enter more than once?

July 28th - Austria-Hungary declares war on Serbia

Dear Serbia,

I say don't you know
You say you don't know
I say... take me out!

I say you don't show
Don't move, time is slow
I say... take me out!

I say you don't know
You say you don't know
I say... take me out!

If I move this could die
If eyes move this could die
I want you...to take me out!

Regards,

PS: I hope somebody gets this.

[DoomYoshi]

July 28th - Austria-Hungary declares war on Serbia

Dear Serbia,

Bollocks.

WINNER

You will get your token today.

[elonpuckhog]

Germany declares war on Russia

Hey Russia...ever heard of David and Goliath?

[t4mcr53s2]

Montenegro declares war

Montenegro has not this war sought
But aggression must always be fought
So we'll stop Austria-Hungry
and all your warmongery;
We'll squash you like a Sacher Torte



ONLY DO THE DECLARATION AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS LIST!

"oh . well then, nevermind"
Emily Littella

[iAmCaffeine]

July 28th - Austria-Hungary declares war on Serbia

Dear Serbia,

Bollocks.

WINNER

You will get your token today.

Thanks.

August 1st - Germany declares war on Russia
Hey Russia,

Quit Stalin, it's time to get ballin', lotsa men are gonna be fallin'.

BRB,
Germany.

[BuJaber]

August 1st - Germany declares war on Russia

Dear Russia,

Stop shovelling snow, and start shovelling bodies.

Regards,
Germany

P.S Ours are bigger.
-------------------------------------

This might be a little gorey, my apologies.

[thelord]

1st august
Dear Russia. We just don't feel like we get enough snow here in Bavaria so we'd like some of yours. Please provide in plentiful amounts. We can take all you can provide.

[DoomYoshi]

August 1st - Germany declares war on Russia

Dear Russia,

Stop shovelling snow, and start shovelling bodies.

Regards,
Germany

P.S Ours are bigger.
-------------------------------------

This might be a little gorey, my apologies.

WINNER

[elonpuckhog]

France...Have you seen our generous shipment of white flags we sent over to you last week? You may want to start waving them soon...we plan to invade shortly.
All the best
Germany

[BuJaber]

August 3rd - Germany declares war on France

Last time we went to a French restaurant we all got sick.
We ordered carrots with our steaks, CARROTS. Not snails. We hate you and your language.

[t4mcr53s2]

Germany declares war on france

The time is here
for France to fear
our German steel
and soon they'll feel
a bayonet point in their rear

[iAmCaffeine]

August 3rd - Germany declares war on France

Dear France,

C'est la vie.

[DoomYoshi]

Germany declares war on france

The time is here
for France to fear
our German steel
and soon they'll feel
a bayonet point in their rear

WINNER

[t4mcr53s2]

thank; I'll shelve the poetry for a bit

[t4mcr53s2]

UK declares war on Germany


Dear Willy,

I cautioned you most sternly not to pick a fight with Cousin Nicky, but you and your blokes would not heed sage advice. I see no choice but chastisement.
Prepare to assume the position.

Your disappointed but fond cousin,
George Rex

[iAmCaffeine]

August 4th- United Kingdom declares war on Germany

Germany,

Can we just split France in half and call it quits?

[elonpuckhog]

The UK, in preparation for potentially losing Scotland as a member in the next 125 years, would like to annex new members immediately. Germany has shown great resistance and thus will be invaded so we can look around and determine if it is a good fit for us.

[DoomYoshi]

UK declares war on Germany


Dear Willy,

I cautioned you most sternly not to pick a fight with Cousin Nicky, but you and your blokes would not heed sage advice. I see no choice but chastisement.
Prepare to assume the position.

Your disappointed but fond cousin,
George Rex

WINNER