Favorite ways of getting rid of the door to door salesman.

Dancing Mustard · Post by **Dancing Mustard** » Sat May 05, 2007 7:01 am

Stopper wrote:
btownmeggy wrote:Oooh, I DREAM of have two young, studly Mormon missionaries come to my door. I'd invite them in, give them lemonade, ask them to wait a bit while I put on something more comfortable.

You know where it goes from there...
I don't know. What do you mean? Could you elaborate?

That would be a far more interesting direction for this thread to take.

CrazyAnglican · Post by **CrazyAnglican** » Sat May 05, 2007 8:22 am

btownmeggy wrote:
hecter wrote:
btownmeggy wrote:Oooh, I DREAM of have two young, studly Mormon missionaries come to my door. I'd invite them in, give them lemonade, ask them to wait a bit while I put on something more comfortable.

You know where it goes from there...

Unfortunately, all I ever get are lady JWs and crack addict magazine salesmen.
Would you settle for me?
Well, Canadians are rather similar to Mormons, but you'd have to bring a friend.

Hey btownmeggy,

Try the same thing with the lady JWs. Could you imagine how fast they'd beat a path out of there? OOopps, sorry I think I missed the point there.

CrazyAnglican · Post by **CrazyAnglican** » Sat May 05, 2007 8:28 am

jnd94 wrote:what I do is politely say that "I have no intention of joining, and you wasting my time only makes me want to join less." They are very persistent, I must say, once I just slammed the door and walked away.

I different approach is to say "Listen, I not going to convert. If you'd just like to practice your sales pitch, I'll give you five minutes before I close the door". Then look at your watch, and don't look back up.

Balsiefen · Post by **Balsiefen** » Sat May 05, 2007 9:51 am

I find the best way is to listen politely to them, nod encourigingly, then at a good point when thay've run out of things to tell you about, say "by the way, i'm a diabolist, would you be intrested in converting to the church of satan?"

CrazyAnglican · Post by **CrazyAnglican** » Sat May 05, 2007 10:36 am

Balsiefen wrote:I find the best way is to listen politely to them, nod encourigingly, then at a good point when thay've run out of thins to tell you about say "by the way, i'm a diabolist, would you be intrested in convertin to the curch of saten?"

Oh, that is diabolical

CrazyAnglican · Post by **CrazyAnglican** » Sat May 05, 2007 10:40 am

You can pretend to have an imaginary friend who doesn't like them. This one's great; you don't have to come up with anything to say, just alternately laugh and be shocked at what your friend says.

To add a little bit to it, make it their fault that he's mad. Start off with "Could you move! You're standing on George's foot!"

Hitman079 · Post by **Hitman079** » Sat May 05, 2007 2:37 pm

so stupid and brief:
answer the door like you're at someone else's door
for example if someone knocks on your door open it and ask them "is michael home?"
or like "have you found God in your life?"
then close the door in their face.

ranck3 · Post by **ranck3** » Sat May 05, 2007 6:32 pm

This isnt vary funny, but true... I usally turn off all my lights when i see them coming and them i hide upstairs...

Balsiefen · Post by **Balsiefen** » Sun May 06, 2007 5:40 am

thats what most people do

diddle · Post by **diddle** » Sun May 06, 2007 5:55 am

i sometimes, try and sell them some of my random stuff that i have in my house

Salesmen 'Hello, i'm brian, would you like to see our new x-400 hover-
Diddle 'I'd love to, but first let me show you this lamp, bought from ikea, in the early 21st century, it cost a whopping £12.99 when new, and for a limited time only, you can buy it for only £24.99! Whaddaya say?
Salesmen *gulps and runs away*
Diddle 'My work here is done' *walks back inside*

Anarchy Ninja · Post by **Anarchy Ninja** » Sun May 06, 2007 7:18 am

Answer the door like this but perhaps with some extra effects like tomato sauce on the blade

Skittles! · Post by **Skittles!** » Sun May 06, 2007 7:23 am

You like promoting yourself, don't you?

Anarchy Ninja · Post by **Anarchy Ninja** » Sun May 06, 2007 7:46 am

Yes, yes i do. I could be considered somewhat ostentatios

sam_levi_11 · Post by **sam_levi_11** » Sun May 06, 2007 12:43 pm

open it and simply say "f*ck off". works every time

unriggable · Post by **unriggable** » Sun May 06, 2007 12:52 pm

Don't answer any of their questions. Just stand. Don't change your facial expression. Funnier if you look tall and menacing and can block the entire doorway. Look at them in the eye the whole time. Haven't tried it yet.

Colaalone · Post by **Colaalone** » Sun May 06, 2007 1:17 pm

Anarchy Ninja wrote:Answer the door like this but perhaps with some extra effects like tomato sauce on the blade

But... the point isn't to make them think you're a loser.

I GOT SERVED · Post by **I GOT SERVED** » Sun May 06, 2007 1:45 pm

unriggable wrote:Don't answer any of their questions. Just stand. Don't change your facial expression. Funnier if you look tall and menacing and can block the entire doorway. Look at them in the eye the whole time. Haven't tried it yet.

Hmm....I have that tall part, and I suppose I could look menacing if I got the right sunglasses....

I'll have to try this one sometime.

Titanic · Post by **Titanic** » Sun May 06, 2007 5:33 pm

Answer their questions completely wrong. Like:

"Would you like this bottle of shampoo?"

"Yes the weather really is nice, good day for football but I heard its gunna rain later on"

"No sorry sir, I said would you like shampoo"

"O the seaside? This time of year? No, not warm enough, you have to wait till June at least"

"Shampoo, for you hair sir!"

"No, I do not want car insurance! Please go away!"

*Slam door!*

freak87 · Post by **freak87** » Sun May 06, 2007 5:44 pm

lol

once a mother and a child(i believe it were johova's withness) came to my door and did their talk, when they were finished, i sad, sorry my parents aren't home, and slam the door....

what i most of the time do is lying upstairs at the end of the stairs, and look down at the door, and just wait when they go away, the ring the door bel several times....and start looking inside to see if anyone is home.....

dominationnation · Post by **dominationnation** » Sun May 06, 2007 6:42 pm

slap them across the face the second they walk in the door

could have interesting results depending on who is at the door

WARNING:make sure that it isnt your neighbor before doing. on second thought...make sure it is your neighbor

Guiscard · Post by **Guiscard** » Sun May 06, 2007 8:20 pm

freak87 wrote:lol

once a mother and a child(i believe it were johova's withness) came to my door and did their talk, when they were finished, i sad, sorry my parents aren't home, and slam the door....

what i most of the time do is lying upstairs at the end of the stairs, and look down at the door, and just wait when they go away, the ring the door bel several times....and start looking inside to see if anyone is home.....

Pussy. It's much funnier for them to know you're definitely home. I had a friend who' just sit in his front room and let them knock on the window for a while. They'd do this every week regularly. The last time they came he got his flatmate to hide under the windowsill inside (its a big bay window) and when they started knocking on the window slowly hold up a sign which said 'I still don't care...' whilst he blatantly ignored them and carried on watching TV.

Titanic · Post by **Titanic** » Tue May 08, 2007 4:09 am

Guiscard wrote:
freak87 wrote:lol

once a mother and a child(i believe it were johova's withness) came to my door and did their talk, when they were finished, i sad, sorry my parents aren't home, and slam the door....

what i most of the time do is lying upstairs at the end of the stairs, and look down at the door, and just wait when they go away, the ring the door bel several times....and start looking inside to see if anyone is home.....
Pussy. It's much funnier for them to know you're definitely home. I had a friend who' just sit in his front room and let them knock on the window for a while. They'd do this every week regularly. The last time they came he got his flatmate to hide under the windowsill inside (its a big bay window) and when they started knocking on the window slowly hold up a sign which said 'I still don't care...' whilst he blatantly ignored them and carried on watching TV.

Lol, thats brilliant.