Secrets thread

[notyou2]

ADD?????

[Juan_Bottom]

SPEAKING AS SOMEONE WHO WORKED FOR A DEPARTMENT STORE AND WAS BFF WITH THE 16 YEAR OLD IN CHARGE OF CLEANING THE BATHROOMS

Those disposable seat protectors that they have are so that you aren't putting your bare ass on someone else's sh*t. Because 16 year olds don't really care how good of a job they do cleaning toilets for $6 an hour.

[Army of GOD]

I specifically remember where I learned the word "bitch":

Duke Nukem 3D for the computer.

Of course, I didn't know it was a "swear", so I shouted it out all the time.

Then, my oldest brother heard me and threatened me to tell our mom about it, if I didn't get off the computer so he could play, that is.

[BigBallinStalin]

I remember a scene from either Wolfenstein 3d or Duke Nukem where there's this secret room with some kid hanging from a noose, and my friend shooting him, and then my being suddenly very sick of what I was seeing.


Now that kind of blocky pixel-ated stuff is hilarious, even seeing a MiG crashing into innocent bystanders and blowing body parts around is at most amusing and perhaps a little shocking.

Perhaps, this says something about the times.

[Army of GOD]

The person hanging from the noose is in Duke Nukem.

I specifically remember the level (where one guy is hanging from a noose, anyway). It's the second mission, after you get captured. You walk around the alien base, and you enter one area which looks like a church. Right above the pews is the person hanging from the noose.

[Juan_Bottom]

I don't move the pallets until the end of my shift because it pisses Arthur off. Tell me my job you little pipsqueak....

[Army of GOD]

Eevee was the first Pokemon I ever knew about (a friend brought his Pokedex to Church School one day).

[Army of GOD]

Whenever I disagree with someone on this forum, I start with "I'm sorry but..."

[BigBallinStalin]

This thread's title always reminds me of that Gil Scott-Heron album "Secrets."

[notyou2]

BBS, I thought your secret was going to be that it isn't tobacco that's in your pipe.

[Timminz]

There's no tobacco in my pipe.

[BigBallinStalin]

While riding the streets on my 35 year old bicycle, I carry a sling on my back. Lo and behold, as the drivers pass me, they'll spot a black club in the sling that says, "Smile!"

These days, I just don't get honked at that much...

[nietzsche]

What is that secret recipe that if you give me I'll become rich with it?

[jonesthecurl]

Shit + sugar + artificial colours.

[BigBallinStalin]

Shit + sugar + artificial colours.

Coca-Cola, it's the real thing!

SECRET: Urine does NOT taste better than Diet Coke.

[AndyDufresne]

This thread's title always reminds me of that Gil Scott-Heron album "Secrets."

This topic always reminds me of the Conan O'Brien sketch 'Secrets'.


--Andy

[notyou2]

I got a secret for ya.

Andy inserts bananas in his mouth, or so I read in the longest thread.

[Army of GOD]

Back in 8th grade (inb4 "that was last year DERP you're young you loser"), my friend stuck a pencil into the hole where my mouth piece goes in the school's tuba that I use. He promised to give me 20 bucks if I didn't get in trouble.

Then, senior year, my tuba starts malfunctioning. My teacher takes it to the instrument-vet, and she discovers...a pencil! Right where the finger valves are!

He still owes me my 20 God damned bucks.

[saxitoxin]

Back in 8th grade (inb4 "that was last year DERP you're young you loser"), my friend stuck a pencil into the hole where

at this point I was expecting the story to end a bit differently than it did

[Army of GOD]

That's why I made it as non-sexually vague as possible.

[john9blue]

I think the whole "tuba" thing is just to avoid embarassment.

Tell me then, what's the fingering for high E flat??

shouldn't have said fingering probably

[Army of GOD]

High E flat? f*ck. I'm guessing first valve...it's been a while since I last played.

[john9blue]

lucky guess

[Army of GOD]

I know the chromatic scale.

B-flat - open
C - 1,3 or 4
D - 1,2 or 3
E-flat - 1
F - open or 1,3
G - 1,2 or 3
A - 1
B-flat - open





Right?

[john9blue]

that's not the chromatic scale though lol