Cheese Shop

[oVo]

Customer: Well then maybe we should just keep it simple then,
how about a small wedge of mild cheddar?

[trinicardinal]

I'm sorry but our mild cheddar has had a mild case of fungus... actually it more resembles blue cheese at this point. Due to health regulations I cannot offer it for sale.

[jonesthecurl]

Well, while we're on that subject - peut-etre a little soupcon of Roquefort, then?

[trinicardinal]

Unfortunately the batch we got was made from milk delivered 19 days after lambing. Thus the AOC has recalled the full extent of the batch including all our stock so I have none to sell you.

[oVo]

Customer: This is a cheese shop but do you actually sell any cheese here?

[jonesthecurl]

Naturally, sir. Why we sold the last of the Halloumi just an hour ago.

[neanderpaul14]

Customer: I need a large vat of molten cheeses, we've run out of boiling oil back at the castle and I need something to pour down on the peasants.

[oVo]

: : : clicks coconuts together : : :

RUN AWAY!

[jonesthecurl]

Pardon my assistant, sir, we just borrowed him from the next sketch.

I'm afraid I can't fill your last order, as we've run out of vats. We rented out the last one to a Mr Hister, who was apparently holding a large fondue rally.

[neanderpaul14]

Pardon my assistant, sir, we just borrowed him from the next sketch.

I'm afraid I can't fill your last order, as we've run out of vats. We rented out the last one to a Mr Hister, who was apparently holding a large fondue rally.

Customer: But I've bought my own vat with me it's out in the carriage I could have some of my knaves fetch it in.

[trinicardinal]

I'm sorry but we also rented all our burners to Mr Hister. We have nothing in the store to melt the cheese with.

[neanderpaul14]

I'm sorry but we also rented all our burners to Mr Hister. We have nothing in the store to melt the cheese with.

Customer: But I could have some of my knaves build a fire to melt it, they could build a fire right here in the shop if it's convenient, they could break up some of those tables and chairs for fuel

[jonesthecurl]

Well, before we decide that, sir, what kind of cheese were we intending to melt?

[neanderpaul14]

Well, before we decide that, sir, what kind of cheese were we intending to melt?

Customer: I'm not really sure could we melt small portions of several varieties?? Then I could go in the street here and throw some on passing peasants to see which is most effective.

[jonesthecurl]

What would you like to start with sir?

[neanderpaul14]

What would you like to start with sir?

I think Brie would be nice and sticky, can we start with that?

[jonesthecurl]

We're little short of Brie at the moment, sir, but I think I do have a morsel...
No, sorry, all gone.
Sorry about that.

[neanderpaul14]

Perhaps Swiss??

[jonesthecurl]

The holes in all our swiss cheese are very big, sir, You should be warned.

[neanderpaul14]

The holes in all our swiss cheese are very big, sir, You should be warned.

Is there any cheese between the holes??

hmmmm.....even as I typed that I was thinking it could be taken another way

[jonesthecurl]

The holes are extemely big, sir - extremely.
In fact in the last consigment, the holes were bigger than the cheese itself, which means it's not very good as a melting cheese.

[neanderpaul14]

The holes are extemely big, sir - extremely.
In fact in the last consigment, the holes were bigger than the cheese itself, which means it's not very good as a melting cheese.

So you have Swiss cheese then??

[trinicardinal]

Well I think it would be more accurate to say we have Swiss Holes.

Hmm.... not too sure what to make of that statement myself far less what you will think of it

[neanderpaul14]

Well I think it would be more accurate to say we have Swiss Holes.

Hmm.... not too sure what to make of that statement myself far less what you will think of it

But is there cheese between the holes?

[oVo]

Well I think it would be more accurate to say we have Swiss Holes.

Customer: How can you distinguish for certain that these holes are actually Swiss?