Consistently, who has the most absurd lyrics?

[Neoteny]

Who do you think has the most absurd lyrics of popular musical artists? My suggestions are Aerosmith and RHCP. I demand lyrical examples for other artists and even some other one's for my two picks. Here are some examples to start you off:

Aerosmith
"When it comes to making love, I ain't no hype,
'cause I practice on a peach most every night."

RHCP
"Come on, come on baby, let me show you what I'm talking about
You try to be a lady, but you're walking like a sour kraut"

Aerosmith
"high class
moolah
bolt ons
fast car"

RHCP
"Steak knife
Card shark
Con job
Boot cut"

[spurgistan]

http://www.lyricsfreak.com/a/aerosmith/ ... 04324.html

[jonesthecurl]

This goes back a long way - who can identify it?
In the same song, the chorus at one point sings "Frying pan, Frying pan", and at another "He's in pain".

[AndrewLC]

DragonForce songs are all about battling dragons and shit.

Still catchy though

[borox0]

Some of them druged up bands have pretty strange stuff.

[static_ice]

I've looked into some of the lyrics I thought at first were absurd, and many of them turned out to be vague descriptions of sex.

Still, some weird ones from SOAD:

-
"Preflight delight,
Defaced street lights,
A pyramid mind f*ck,
Don't leave your seats now,

Popcorn everywhere, canned,
Cliché people organs rare,
Corn everywhere canned,
Cliché people organs rare,

I want to be,
A fallen ruby,
Guest vibrations,
Don't leave your seats now"

-
"So I felt like the biggest asshole
Felt like the biggest asshole
when I killed your rock and roll
Mow down the sexy people

Every time I look in your eyes, every day I'm watching you die
All the thoughts I see in you about how I

Eat all the grass
Eat all the grass that you want
Accidents happen In the dark
Eat all the grass that you want
Accidents happen In the dark
Eat all the grass that you want
Accidents happen In the dark
Eat all the grass that you want"

And almost everything from Steal This Album!
-
"Peter’s pecker picked another
Pickle bearing pussy pepper,
Peter’s pecker picked another
Pickle bearing pussy pepper, Why!

Meeting John at Dale’s Jr.
Winked an eye and point a finger,
Meeting John at Dale’s Jr.
Winked an eye and point a finger, Why!

A former cop, undercover, Just got shot, now recovered,
A former cop, undercover, Just got shot, now recovered, Why!

Fighting crime, with a partner, Lois Lane, Jimmy Carter,
Fighting crime, with a partner, Lois Lane, Jimmy Carter, (siren)

AA EE EH AA EH AA OH,
AA EE EH AA EH AA OH, Why, As we light up the sky

Mine delusions acquainted,
Bubbles erotica,
Plutonium wedding rings,
Icicles stretching,
Bicycles, shoestrings,
One flag, flaggy but one,
Painting the paintings of the alive."

-
"Flaunt your will at every wheel,
Parachute your chocolate soul,
Cobblestones under your wheels,

Circumvent your thick ego,
Wooden farts, they’re on the go,
You can’t tell me that I’m real,

Can’t you look at my shaved ass,
Ounce is gone, and God is once,
You can’t see me suddenly"

And of course this thread isn't complete without Fitter Happier
-
"more productive
comfortable
not drinking too much
regular exercise at the gym (3 days a week)
getting on better with your associate employee contemporaries
at ease
eating well (no more microwave dinners and saturated fats)
a patient better driver
a safer car (baby smiling in back seat)
sleeping well (no bad dreams)
no paranoia
careful to all animals (never washing spiders down the plughole)
keep in contact with old friends (enjoy a drink now and then)
will frequently check credit at (moral) bank (hole in wall)
favours for favours
fond but not in love
charity standing orders
on sundays ring road supermarket
(no killing moths or putting boiling water on the ants)
car wash (also on sundays)
no longer afraid of the dark
or midday shadows
nothing so ridiculously teenage and desperate
nothing so childish
at a better pace
slower and more calculated
no chance of escape
now self-employed
concerned (but powerless)
an empowered and informed member of society (pragmatism not idealism)
will not cry in public
less chance of illness
tires that grip in the wet (shot of baby strapped in back seat)
a good memory
still cries at a good film
still kisses with saliva
no longer empty and frantic
like a cat
tied to a stick
that's driven into
frozen winter shit (the ability to laugh at weakness)
calm
fitter, healthier and more productive
a pig
in a cage
on antibiotics"

[MeDeFe]

How about this little nugget of nonsensical lyrics then?

I promise it is not a rickroll unless a mod edits my post.

[InkL0sed]

I say the lyrics to "The Bathroom Song" are... interesting.

[fireedud]

I think SOAD's Chich'n'Stu is pretty whack.


Pie pizza pizza pie, every minute every second,
more,more,more,more,more,more,

Peperoni and grenn peppers, mushrooms, olives, chives
Peperoni and grenn peppers, mushrooms, olives, chives

Therapy, therapy threrapy,
Advertising causes,
therapy, therapy.....


etc.

[static_ice]

I think SOAD's Chich'n'Stu is pretty whack.


Pie pizza pizza pie, every minute every second,
more,more,more,more,more,more,

Peperoni and grenn peppers, mushrooms, olives, chives
Peperoni and grenn peppers, mushrooms, olives, chives

Therapy, therapy threrapy,
Advertising causes,
therapy, therapy.....


etc.

Well that one actually makes sense, it's about food advertising, although they might have been a bit absurd in the way they expressed it.

[suggs]

Aerosmith are just absurd, "period" as you guys would say.
Yeah the Chillis have written some bollocks, but also some verses of rare beauty:

"Autumn's sweet,
We call it Fall,
I'll malke it to the moon,
If i have to crawl..."

and pretty much the whole of the song "Californication" is lyrically masterful (translation, i cant remember it, but i remember it being great

But of course, the greatest lyric of all time is:

"Stop - HAMMER TIME"
which i think he pinched from "Othello", but still-RESPECT TO THE HAMMER.

[Neoteny]

This was decidedly indecisive. I demand more votes.

[Neoteny]

I had forgotten SOAD. Their lyrics actually seem a bit more clever (superficially, at least) to me, so I wouldn't consider them a valid option.

[Alex Youngren]

Four words: system of a down

[Hitman079]

You may all frown upon me for listening to them, but I've noticed My Chemical Romance's lyrics are also...quite nonsensical. Oh, and to add, maybe people see something in these lyrics that I do not...

(Mama)
But there's shit that I've done with this f*ck of a gun,
You would cry out your eyes all along.

(To the End)
The wedding party all collapsed in the room.
So send my resignation to the bride and the groom.
Let's go down!
This elevator only goes up to ten.
He's not around.
He's always looking at men
Down by the pool.

(Disenchanted)
I spent my high school career
Spit on and shoved to agree
So I could watch all my heroes
Sell a car on tv
Bring out the old guillotine
We'll show 'em what we all mean.

[Fircoal]

How about this little nugget of nonsensical lyrics then?

I promise it is not a rickroll unless a mod edits my post.

That song has the best lyrics evar. XD

[spurgistan]

Actually, after rethinking, I'd like to nominate David Bowie.

[Curmudgeonx]

Actually, Syd Barrett's solo stuff for the win