blond jokes

[haha]

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking........ and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away.......... Florida or the moon?"
The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ...?????"

CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."

KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science &Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"

put all blond jokes on this thread

[viking thunder]

[Freetymes]

The blonde excitedly came home from school and called to her mother. "Mommy mommy in math today I was the first one to know what 8 times 8 was!!! Is that because I am blonde mommy?"

"Yes honey. her mom replied. "It is because you are blonde."

The next day the blonde again came home in great spirits. "Mommy mommy, in civics class today I was the only one who knew what city is our state capital!" "Is that because I am blonde?"

"Yes honey. her mom replied. "It is because you are blonde."

The very next day our blonde was extatic... "Mommy mommy today in anatomy class we talked about our bodies." cupping her ample breasts the blonde said "...and I have the largest breasts in my class!!" "Mommy is that because I am blonde???"

"Well no honey." Came the reply. "That is because you are 23"

[Bob The Bomber]

Nice! I'll have a joke later.

[Kegler]

A blonde walked into a gas station and said to the manager, I locked my keys in my car. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?
Why sure, said the manager, we have something that works especially well for that.
A couple minutes later, the manager walked outside to see how the blonde was doing and he heard another voice.
No, no! A little to the left, said the other blonde inside the car.

[Sammy gags]

reminds me of sum of my friends

[morph]

not a joke but it is a saying, the only dumb blonde is a box blonde....

[Bob The Bomber]

Three contestants were in a paegant- a brunette, red-head, and blond. They had to walk out, say where they were from, and say something about it. The brunette walked out and said, "I'm from Texas, and it's called the lone star state." The red-head walked out and said,"I'm from New York, and it's called the big apple." The blond walked out and said,"Hi! I'm from Louisianna. We call it the big easy. And I think all you judges there can vouch for that."

Hey, it's the best I could think of right now, OK?!

[Machiavelli]

How do you drown an blond?







































Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

[mr. incrediball]

what do you call a blonde who dyes her hair brown?

artificial intelligence!

A blonde was pulled over by a police car, when the guy asked for her license, she asked what one was, when he asked for some identity at all, she asked what identity was, the officer went over to his partner and expressed his disbelief, his partner said, "is that girl a drop-dead gorgeous blonde?" he said "ye" and his partner said "go up to her and drop your trousers" so the guy went back and did wat his partner said, and the blonde said "oh no not another breathelyser!"