Need dating help? here it is.
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Need dating help? here it is.
by Vader_09 on Tue Oct 10, 2006 9:42 pm
I know a lot of people dont know how to ask a girl or guy out or maybe wat to do. well since im bored and i know these things just ask away.
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Vader_09
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Re: Need dating help? here it is.
by AK_iceman on Tue Oct 10, 2006 10:40 pm
Vader_09 wrote:I know a lot of people dont know how to ask a girl or guy out or maybe wat to do. well since im bored and i know these things just ask away.
How old are you?
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AK_iceman
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by AndyDufresne on Tue Oct 10, 2006 10:43 pm
He's obviously been around the block a time or two...
Unfortunately that was on his trike...
--Andy
Unfortunately that was on his trike...
--Andy
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AndyDufresne
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by jay_a2j on Wed Oct 11, 2006 5:44 pm
who gives out their password like its candy?
THE DEBATE IS OVER...
JESUS SAVES!!!
PLAYER57832 wrote:Too many of those who claim they don't believe global warming are really "end-timer" Christians.
JESUS SAVES!!!
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jay_a2j
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by stache hag on Wed Oct 11, 2006 8:13 pm
Stache Hag's Guide to getting the chicks:
1. Don't play risk, hasbro, or non-hasbro.
2. Don't be hendy.
3. Don't be a cunt.
4. Two and three are one and the same.
5. Call when you say you will.
6. Respect the virgin.
7. Wrap it twice for the slut.
That is all.
1. Don't play risk, hasbro, or non-hasbro.
2. Don't be hendy.
3. Don't be a cunt.
4. Two and three are one and the same.
5. Call when you say you will.
6. Respect the virgin.
7. Wrap it twice for the slut.
That is all.
I'm here for the stache-bang.
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stache hag
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- Location: Huntin' for Staches' in Philly.
by 2dimes on Wed Oct 11, 2006 9:29 pm
stache hag wrote:Stache Hag's Guide to getting the chicks:
1. Don't play risk, hasbro, or non-hasbro.
2. Don't be hendy.
3. Don't be a cunt.
4. Two and three are one and the same.
5. Call when you say you will.
6. Respect the virgin.
7. Wrap it twice for the slut.
That is all.
That's some shoddy direction there.
2. goes with out saying.
You should have mentioned the need to at least fiegn respect for the slut. They are people and have feelings too, in addition how you treat them gets put out and affects your image with all other females.
8. find out what she wants most women are slightly different from the others it's not like us guys where the formula works everytime.
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2dimes
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by reverend_kyle on Wed Oct 11, 2006 11:31 pm
2dimes wrote:stache hag wrote:Stache Hag's Guide to getting the chicks:
1. Don't play risk, hasbro, or non-hasbro.
2. Don't be hendy.
3. Don't be a cunt.
4. Two and three are one and the same.
5. Call when you say you will.
6. Respect the virgin.
7. Wrap it twice for the slut.
That is all.
That's some shoddy direction there.
2. goes with out saying.
You should have mentioned the need to at least fiegn respect for the slut. They are people and have feelings too, in addition how you treat them gets put out and affects your image with all other females.
8. find out what she wants most women are slightly different from the others it's not like us guys where the formula works everytime.
Everyone knows double wrapping it and friction causes the condoms to rip and then you get VD.... Stache hag, quit trying to give everyone here vd.
DANCING MUSTARD FOR POOP IN '08!
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reverend_kyle
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by stache hag on Thu Oct 12, 2006 8:30 am
I just might. There has to be a man out there with a big penis! I sure haven't found it yet!!!
I'm here for the stache-bang.
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stache hag
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- Location: Huntin' for Staches' in Philly.
by Spuzzell on Thu Oct 12, 2006 12:08 pm
I can solve all your problems. Welcome to my Love Bible.
Tim's Love Bible
I am a fantastic lover. I have experienced the wonder and inner beauty of different ladies from many nationalities. I prefer ladies who shave their legs and under their arms, but not their heads.
To be a great lover you must know how to treat your lady right. You must make her feel like she is the centre of the world. So you can manage to do well like me I have written down my Ten Commandments on caring for a lady, like in the original bible:
1) Thou shalt have clean shiny hair and short fingernails with no dirt.
2) Thou shalt copy her. To enchant a lady the most important thing is to mirror her body language exactly. This will make her feel that you are like her, and she will be able to trust you. If she rubs her nose, rub yours. If she licks her lips with the tip of her tongue then do the same. Don't worry if she notices you copying her. This will fluster her and leave her wider open to your advances.
3) Thou shalt stare into her eyes. This is part of mastering body language. Practice in front of a mirror until your eyes can say "I am a fantastic lover and we are going to fall in love with each other".
4) Thou shalt speak in a loud voice. This makes you appear confident and attractive, and will prevent her thinking you are gay.
5) Thou shalt be happy. It's no coincidence that George Formby always got the girl. Make a joke when you find yourself in unpleasant circumstances. Ladies need to feel protected from harm, and by laughing off problems you are doing this.
6) Thou shalt be in control and shalt be decisive. All ladies like a man to be in control. In this age of the "New Man" many men have forgotten this rule. But ask your grandad. He knows this rule. The mistake is to confuse being in control with forgetting to consider a lady's feelings. A lady likes to know you are thinking about what she wants, even when you want something entirely different. If you want to force your lady to do something she does not want to, then simply say in a firm voice "No, listen. It'll be fun!" She will then be excited at your command. She will understand that you are considering what she wants, but that you know better and she will be relieved at the thought of not having to make any decisions herself. Ladies' brains are designed to be loving towards babies and small mammals and not for making quick decisions.
7) Thou shalt make her feel you care. You should listen to her and complement her whenever you are with her. Now each lady is a bit different, but in general you should arrange to meet them several times quickly in the first week, but after that one call and one meeting per week is best. This will make them worry that your interest has cooled and make them more vulnerable. If they start to complain that you seem to spend all your time with your mates then don't worry because they're already in love and you are ready to move on to someone more attractive and better in bed.
8 ) Thou shalt tell her stories about famous people you know. All ladies live in a world of soap operas and gossip magazines and long to be by the side of a well-connected man. If you do not yet know many famous people then get drunk and go to the most expensive bars in town. It’s important not to make up famous people that you know, because she will boast about you and your contacts and it may get into magazines.
9) Thou shalt make her think you have had many beautiful ladies. This has a double advantage. First of all she will like you more, because all ladies are insecure about their own judgement, and they will feel more sure if other, more beautiful ladies have chosen to be with you. Secondly she will be worried that you are likely to leave her for a more beautiful lady, and so she will be nicer to you and complain less. The best way to do this is to carry a camera around with you and when you see a beautiful lady in the street get a passer-by to take a picture of her. Put all these photographs together in an album and make sure it is one of the first things you show your lady.
10) Thou shalt not bother with Welsh females. Welsh females are ugly and smell.
Tim's Love Bible
I am a fantastic lover. I have experienced the wonder and inner beauty of different ladies from many nationalities. I prefer ladies who shave their legs and under their arms, but not their heads.
To be a great lover you must know how to treat your lady right. You must make her feel like she is the centre of the world. So you can manage to do well like me I have written down my Ten Commandments on caring for a lady, like in the original bible:
1) Thou shalt have clean shiny hair and short fingernails with no dirt.
2) Thou shalt copy her. To enchant a lady the most important thing is to mirror her body language exactly. This will make her feel that you are like her, and she will be able to trust you. If she rubs her nose, rub yours. If she licks her lips with the tip of her tongue then do the same. Don't worry if she notices you copying her. This will fluster her and leave her wider open to your advances.
3) Thou shalt stare into her eyes. This is part of mastering body language. Practice in front of a mirror until your eyes can say "I am a fantastic lover and we are going to fall in love with each other".
4) Thou shalt speak in a loud voice. This makes you appear confident and attractive, and will prevent her thinking you are gay.
5) Thou shalt be happy. It's no coincidence that George Formby always got the girl. Make a joke when you find yourself in unpleasant circumstances. Ladies need to feel protected from harm, and by laughing off problems you are doing this.
6) Thou shalt be in control and shalt be decisive. All ladies like a man to be in control. In this age of the "New Man" many men have forgotten this rule. But ask your grandad. He knows this rule. The mistake is to confuse being in control with forgetting to consider a lady's feelings. A lady likes to know you are thinking about what she wants, even when you want something entirely different. If you want to force your lady to do something she does not want to, then simply say in a firm voice "No, listen. It'll be fun!" She will then be excited at your command. She will understand that you are considering what she wants, but that you know better and she will be relieved at the thought of not having to make any decisions herself. Ladies' brains are designed to be loving towards babies and small mammals and not for making quick decisions.
7) Thou shalt make her feel you care. You should listen to her and complement her whenever you are with her. Now each lady is a bit different, but in general you should arrange to meet them several times quickly in the first week, but after that one call and one meeting per week is best. This will make them worry that your interest has cooled and make them more vulnerable. If they start to complain that you seem to spend all your time with your mates then don't worry because they're already in love and you are ready to move on to someone more attractive and better in bed.
8 ) Thou shalt tell her stories about famous people you know. All ladies live in a world of soap operas and gossip magazines and long to be by the side of a well-connected man. If you do not yet know many famous people then get drunk and go to the most expensive bars in town. It’s important not to make up famous people that you know, because she will boast about you and your contacts and it may get into magazines.
9) Thou shalt make her think you have had many beautiful ladies. This has a double advantage. First of all she will like you more, because all ladies are insecure about their own judgement, and they will feel more sure if other, more beautiful ladies have chosen to be with you. Secondly she will be worried that you are likely to leave her for a more beautiful lady, and so she will be nicer to you and complain less. The best way to do this is to carry a camera around with you and when you see a beautiful lady in the street get a passer-by to take a picture of her. Put all these photographs together in an album and make sure it is one of the first things you show your lady.
10) Thou shalt not bother with Welsh females. Welsh females are ugly and smell.
-
Spuzzell
- Posts: 286
- Joined: Wed Mar 22, 2006 8:42 am
- Location: Devon
by kc-jake on Thu Oct 12, 2006 1:28 pm
Those are great suggestions for getting chicks to love you, but I have a better guide...
Jake's Guide to Banging that Dumb Blonde Drunk Chick at a Party
1. Get trashed. Drunk people like other drunks the best. So make sure you are heavily toasted. You'll laugh at her stupid shit and vice versa.
2. Be an attention whore. Humping the Christmas tree in the corner is a) funny to drunks and b) will get HER attention, which is like gold.
3. Avoid negative attention. Pissing off the balcony is funny. Pissing your pants is not.
4. Be funny. The more she laughs, the more she wants to get laid. Trust me.
5. Time your advances. "I'm so drunk!!" is the international mating call, and other males know this and will attempt to take advantage of it. That's your time to shine, and make them look like losers.
6. Be/Play dumb. Dumb blondes, like most women, are insecure, and a smart guy makes them feel inferior. Or like you're their high school science teacher.
7. Get her alone. Get her alone. Get her alone. You've gotta figure out how. Offering a ride home only works if you're not going back to the party. If you gave your friends a ride there, be sure to bang her before leaving.
8. Get her in the mood. Hint at it. Blatantly. She needs to know what you want, but you cannot say it explicitly unless she's already thinking the same thing. You need to get her mind on that subject, and convince her of it.
9. Take the initiative. Most girls will not suddenly start making out with you once you're alone like they do in the movies. You'll usually need to initiate contact yourself.
10. Focus on the goal. Making out is rarely worth the blue balls. Second base never got the job done, although third sometimes does. But nothing beats the exhiliration of the home run.
There you have it. Oh, and uh, one more thing...
11. Don't call her. Ever.
Jake's Guide to Banging that Dumb Blonde Drunk Chick at a Party
1. Get trashed. Drunk people like other drunks the best. So make sure you are heavily toasted. You'll laugh at her stupid shit and vice versa.
2. Be an attention whore. Humping the Christmas tree in the corner is a) funny to drunks and b) will get HER attention, which is like gold.
3. Avoid negative attention. Pissing off the balcony is funny. Pissing your pants is not.
4. Be funny. The more she laughs, the more she wants to get laid. Trust me.
5. Time your advances. "I'm so drunk!!" is the international mating call, and other males know this and will attempt to take advantage of it. That's your time to shine, and make them look like losers.
6. Be/Play dumb. Dumb blondes, like most women, are insecure, and a smart guy makes them feel inferior. Or like you're their high school science teacher.
7. Get her alone. Get her alone. Get her alone. You've gotta figure out how. Offering a ride home only works if you're not going back to the party. If you gave your friends a ride there, be sure to bang her before leaving.
8. Get her in the mood. Hint at it. Blatantly. She needs to know what you want, but you cannot say it explicitly unless she's already thinking the same thing. You need to get her mind on that subject, and convince her of it.
9. Take the initiative. Most girls will not suddenly start making out with you once you're alone like they do in the movies. You'll usually need to initiate contact yourself.
10. Focus on the goal. Making out is rarely worth the blue balls. Second base never got the job done, although third sometimes does. But nothing beats the exhiliration of the home run.
There you have it. Oh, and uh, one more thing...
11. Don't call her. Ever.
I was a major back when 1600 was major. Now that I'm back, I get to easily win a bunch of games to get my rank. Thank the 'tards here who suck at this game.
Highest Rank: #154 (Oct 05 '06)
Highest Score: 1725 (Jul 18 '08)
imhot4jesus wrote:Literacy never hurt anybody.
Highest Rank: #154 (Oct 05 '06)
Highest Score: 1725 (Jul 18 '08)
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kc-jake
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by Sammy gags on Thu Oct 12, 2006 5:24 pm
UCAbears wrote:guys guys guys... if anyone wants to know how toget girls ask me... please ya alll knowmim the ladies man around here.
haha...very funny
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Sammy gags
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