the longest thread, thread - Occasionally NSFW

[Scarus]

Smith, ever since I saw your saturday night thread I've really been worried about you, (well, not really....lol). Do you need a hug? Or just a girlfriend?.....lol

I've been in an air conditioned office most of the day but it was very warm yesterday and is probably in the high 70's today.

[SMITH197]

a hug would be nice...

[KoolBak]

Thank you scarus for the joke...very good....I personally have kept a handful of attorneys employed re: a legal battle I have been in for 4+ years with an ex neighbor whose name is Antichrist.....I finally won after spending more money than I care to admit...In my previous life as a commercial lender, I specialized in Attorney Firms and enjoyed 20 of the top 25 copmpanies in the Pac Northwest as my clients....

I know the oh-so-neccessary role of the profession and they have saved my ass on several occasions..I would be without a home and a business because of a frivilous lawsuit without them....this having been said, I know enough lawyer jokes to fill a small book!

Along your theme scarus my friend.....

An attorney dies and is approaching the gates of Heaven,,,St Peter looks at his book, does a double take and exclaims, "My gosh! Congratulations! You were far and away the oldest living person to have ever existed! 150 years old..that is an accomplisment!"

Attorney replies, "Sorry, those are my billable hours....".

[AndyDufresne]

Hm...jokes...lets see. I'll use my favorite...and also one I recently heard at work. (I work at a nursing home, and an elderly man told me this one.)

He told it in a little story. The man came over to me and another worker while we were clearing plates in the dining room, and asked us if we knew the history of Pop-eye. We both said no. He asked if we knew that he had a girlfriend named Olive Oil. We said yes. He then asked:
"Do you know what Pop-eye did when he had an erection? He stuck in it Olive Oil." We laughed hysterically as the man rolled off into the distance to the puzzle area.

~~~~~
And one of my favorite jokes:

A man goes to see a psychiatrist to help him with his problems. The psychiatrist spoke with the man for a while and then administered the standard Ink Blot test. "What do you see?" asked the psychiatrist. The man looked closely, adjusting his glasses and responded "Sex." "And now?" "Sex." "And...now?" "Sex." ... "Sex." ... "Sex." ... "Sex." The psychiatrist put down the final card and said to the man "Well, it seems that you are obsessed with sex." The man looked at him horrifically and said "You're the one drawing all the dirty pictures!"

hehe....

--Andy

[SMITH197]

congratualtions to andy for posting the 10000th post on the whole forum...you beat me to it you...


...it was my one chance to have some glimmer of glory...and you stole it all away from me!




jerk

[AndyDufresne]

Haha...best part...is I didn't even know I was going to! haha....My brilliance exceeds me.

--Andy

[SMITH197]

i need a puppy...


or at least something that will cry when i kick it...

[areyouincahoots]

that may be slightly disturbing....and sad

[Zepy12]

Zepy needs comforting...

I'm in a middle of a horrible losing streak! I've lost over 250 points in the last few days...I can't seem to do anything right! (It all started, btw, when cahoots kill me to earn her full xi membership!)

Anyone else have really bad (or good) streaks? When I win, I'll win four or five games in a row...now, I can't even catch a cold! Now I'm about to lose my Captain bar....

sad sad day for the zep.

[areyouincahoots]

Zepy needs comforting...

I'm in a middle of a horrible losing streak! I've lost over 250 points in the last few days...I can't seem to do anything right! (It all started, btw, when cahoots kill me to earn her full xi membership!)

Anyone else have really bad (or good) streaks? When I win, I'll win four or five games in a row...now, I can't even catch a cold! Now I'm about to lose my Captain bar....

sad sad day for the zep.

I'm really sad to hear this! I didn't mean to! I promise!

[Zepy12]

lol...you're too sweet...of course not! lol. I'm sure it will turn around...but 250 points lost is hard to deal with!

[AndyDufresne]

Cahoots...you are in the top 10 posters....jeez! I wonder how much this thread contributed to your gaining rank there?

--Andy

[areyouincahoots]

I didn't even know they had that (how did you even know that?)...but this thread sure as heck did a lot for it! I'm like addicted to this thread...

[rocksolid]

Smithy - have you thought about getting a hand puppet? They may take a while to warm up to, but then they look at you funny and you sort of forget they're on your own hand, and that's when the real conversation starts going. They can cry too, but it's really hard to kick them - they're quick to get out of the way.

Hoots - http://www.conquerclub.com/forum/memberlist.php, pick "total posts" in the "Sort By" dropbox, and "descending".

I had no idea Grim was so prolific.

[Scarus]

Well, at one time I was in and out of the top ten people on the scoreboard and I once made it to third. I think I'm a sargeant now....lol

There is an explanation though. I used to only play escalating games on the classic map, (which I am very good at...lol), but I want to support the xiGAMES and will jump into one whenever I see one regardless of what the options are.

Scarus

[johnnyrotten]

Ok... a joke... ummm... What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexic Association.

[pennywise]

Hey Guys,

Don't know if you'll be able to find this message in all this crap but I have some suggestions about how to deal with our little problem:

1. Do not respond to any spam in any way.
2. Do not mention the names of any spammers
3. email, and/or pm lack and call his attention to this. This is abuse. Ask Lack to suspend the posting privileges of any abusive spammers and specifically to take away the posting privileges in this particular thread from anyone who has been abusive. All Lack has to do is to check off a little box on this thread to do this.

Let's make a concerted, adult, effort to get our thread back

Sure thing scarus...do you think PMing or email lack would be best? Or creating a post for him to view?

Lol.. you make this big effort to come across as 'adult', then go about like some schoolkid, telling teacher.

Jeez, I hate to think what's going to happen when you finally leave your room.

Haven't you started to notice girls yet? (or boys, whatever floats yer boat). Sounds like you need a good seeing to in order to unplug your head from your arse.

[pennywise]

Ok... a joke... ummm... What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexic Association.

Here's a joke - jonnyrotten.

[pennywise]

Wooooo! Well done guys! Well, can we include max's and that other gay person's posts though?

Is homophobia still considered cool in whatever godforsaken ditch you crawl about in?

[pennywise]

oooooo...i'm the 500th!!!!

500 posts!!! Good job, team!!!!

You see. Just because me and Max don't subscribe to 'certain' peoples cliquey 'i want to be loved' / mob / gang mentality, we still helped the thread to it's magnificent goal.

So let that be a lesson to you all.

[thegrimsleeper]

lol... If it weren't for this thread and Spamnation Will Consume Us All, I'd probably be much lower.

Every so often, I'll look at how my number has jumped by like 50 or 60 in a week, and I try and lay low so I don't get more than that guy at #1.

When do we get the new Cahoots pic

[Nobunaga]

... KoolBak's had this coming for a while.

... You earned it, Buddy!!

[SMITH197]

holy crap...



thats too funny...


Nice one Bunaga

[Nobunaga]

Damn! "Copius" should be "Copious".

... Those damned Chinese craftsmen! (I out-sourced the work to Guangzhou).

[Nobunaga]

... There we go! I sent the foreman a nasty-gram. You just got to be tough with those slackers sometimes!