Submit Your Best Metaphor (not euphemism) for Impotence

by **Funkyterrance** on Thu Feb 08, 2024 10:18 pm

My top 2:

1. Playing pool with a rope
2. Putting a raw oyster into a slot machine

Shout out to saxi for my inspriration!

by **Votanic** on Thu Feb 08, 2024 10:28 pm

Funkyterrance wrote:My top 2:

1. Playing pool with a rope
2. Putting a raw oyster into a slot machine

Shout out to saxi for my inspriration!

Gee, hmm... how about...
"Toss her a dildo with one hand, turn on the T.V. with the other."

by **Pack Rat** on Thu Feb 08, 2024 10:46 pm

Votanic wrote:
Funkyterrance wrote:My top 2:

1. Playing pool with a rope
2. Putting a raw oyster into a slot machine

Shout out to saxi for my inspriration!

Gee, hmm... how about...
"Toss her a dildo with one hand, turn on the T.V. with the other."

Sounds like you are a pro with a dildo. Oops, sorry to interrupt your tv time.

by **Funkyterrance** on Thu Feb 08, 2024 10:54 pm

Pack Rat wrote:
Votanic wrote:
Funkyterrance wrote:My top 2:

1. Playing pool with a rope
2. Putting a raw oyster into a slot machine

Shout out to saxi for my inspriration!

Gee, hmm... how about...
"Toss her a dildo with one hand, turn on the T.V. with the other."

Sounds like you are a pro with a dildo. Oops, sorry to interrupt your tv time.

Yeah Bro I hope you wiped it off first!

by **Votanic** on Thu Feb 08, 2024 11:07 pm

Funkyterrance wrote:
Pack Rat wrote:
Votanic wrote:
Funkyterrance wrote:My top 2:

1. Playing pool with a rope
2. Putting a raw oyster into a slot machine

Shout out to saxi for my inspriration!

Gee, hmm... how about...
"Toss her a dildo with one hand, turn on the T.V. with the other."

Sounds like you are a pro with a dildo. Oops, sorry to interrupt your tv time.

Yeah Bro I hope you wiped it off first!

So much for being considerate. Next time, all you catchers can go fetch your own dildoes.
As if any orifice out there could compete with 1000s of channels + endless video & online streaming.
Sex is for the desperate...

by **jonesthecurl** on Fri Feb 09, 2024 3:59 am

Mr Wobbly tries to hide his helmet.

by **KoolBak** on Fri Feb 09, 2024 5:02 am

Throwing a hotdog down a hallway.

by **DirtyDishSoap** on Fri Feb 09, 2024 6:21 am

Putting my wrinkle stick into a sleepy snail

by **Lonous** on Fri Feb 09, 2024 7:25 am

Trying to hammer nails with a fish

by **Funkyterrance** on Fri Feb 09, 2024 10:31 am

Lonous wrote:Trying to hammer nails with a fish

Qualifier #1

You other guys! I can make another for metaphors for sex seeing as you all don’t seem to have saxi’s problem and are randy as f*ck!

by **2dimes** on Fri Feb 09, 2024 11:04 am

Can't raise the flag.

by **Funkyterrance** on Fri Feb 09, 2024 11:29 am

2dimes wrote:Can't raise the flag.

Qualifier #2

by **Pack Rat** on Fri Feb 09, 2024 11:59 am

Houston, we have a problem

by **Pack Rat** on Fri Feb 09, 2024 12:08 pm

Votanic wrote:
Funkyterrance wrote:
Pack Rat wrote:
Votanic wrote:
Funkyterrance wrote:My top 2:

1. Playing pool with a rope
2. Putting a raw oyster into a slot machine

Shout out to saxi for my inspriration!

Gee, hmm... how about...
"Toss her a dildo with one hand, turn on the T.V. with the other."

Sounds like you are a pro with a dildo. Oops, sorry to interrupt your tv time.

Yeah Bro I hope you wiped it off first!

So much for being considerate. Next time, all you catchers can go fetch your own dildoes.
As if any orifice out there could compete with 1000s of channels + endless video & online streaming.
Sex is for the desperate...

At least you never have/had to worry about pregnancy, STDs, pre-ejaculation, double bag and chewing your arm off, which hole to use, getting a curly stuck in the back of your throat and a host of other reasons to stay pure, until your wedding night.

by **Votanic** on Fri Feb 09, 2024 1:05 pm

Pack Rat wrote:
Votanic wrote:
Funkyterrance wrote:
Pack Rat wrote:
Votanic wrote:
Funkyterrance wrote:My top 2:

1. Playing pool with a rope
2. Putting a raw oyster into a slot machine

Shout out to saxi for my inspriration!

Gee, hmm... how about...
"Toss her a dildo with one hand, turn on the T.V. with the other."

Sounds like you are a pro with a dildo. Oops, sorry to interrupt your tv time.

Yeah Bro I hope you wiped it off first!

So much for being considerate. Next time, all you catchers can go fetch your own dildoes.
As if any orifice out there could compete with 1000s of channels + endless video & online streaming.
Sex is for the desperate...

At least you never have/had to worry about pregnancy, STDs, pre-ejaculation, double bag and chewing your arm off, which hole to use, getting a curly stuck in the back of your throat and a host of other reasons to stay pure, until your wedding night.

This might be your best post ever, Rat.
Just posting a simple, practical list of of common-sense things to avoid is a refreshing improvement for you.
In the future continue to avoid any ill-advised attempts at wit, cleverness, advanced reasoning, political discourse, or other matters beyond your ken.
As long as you safely stay in your limited comprehension zone, you should be fine.