Insult Swordfighting

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Inspired by Lucas Art's Monkey Island series, examples in OP are from the first game.

How to play
Each poster should start with a witty comeback to the insult above, then follow up with an insult to the next poster.

Poster 1
*comeback to last insult*
*insult* You fight like a dairy farmer.

Poster 2
*comeback* How appropriate. You fight like a cow.
*insult* Soon you'll be wearing my sword like a shish kebab!

and so on

- forum rules apply, don't make it vulgar, personal, bigoted, etc.

- insults should be directed at a generic second or first person "you" "me" "my"

- "insults" can also be brags about oneself: "People fall at my feet when they see me coming." comeback: "Even BEFORE they smell your breath?"

- rhyming is optional

show

To start us off
Your eyes are crossed more often than a duelist's swords!

[Haggis_McMutton]

Look behind you ... a three headed monkey!

sorry, couldn't help myself. I'll show myself out.

[Victor Sullivan]

To start us off
Your eyes are crossed more often than a duelist's swords!

And yet I can see your girlfriend's been sleeping around with every scurvy-ridden scalawag on your crew!

You're a worse swordsman than a walrus with its tusks sawed off!

-Sully

[jonesthecurl]

Don't talk about your mother like that!

That's more like a sponge than a lunge!

[/]

Sorry my sword soaks up your blood with every plunge.

Tell me if you want me to fight you blindfolded.

[kentington]

Not necessary. You already fight like you can't see.

Stop walking into my sword; you are getting blood all over the place.

[x-raider]

You would do well to stop pointing it at your face.

You sir, parry like a parrot!

[/]

A parrot is all that's needed to crack a nut like you.

New rivers form with the power of my swings.

[jonesthecurl]

You swing both ways, sirrah.
Methinks you sheath your sword in the brown scabbard most often.

[fadedpsychosis]

It's not my fault you wore a brown shirt.

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!



sorry but I couldn't help the MP refference

[rdsrds2120]

It's not my fault you wore a brown shirt.

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!



sorry but I couldn't help the MP refference

Your berries are dry and unsavory -- like the mistletoe above Roseanne Barr.

BMO

[fadedpsychosis]

It's not my fault you wore a brown shirt.

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!



sorry but I couldn't help the MP refference

Your berries are dry and unsavory -- like the mistletoe above Roseanne Barr.

BMO

gah! need brain bleach!!!

[Funkyterrance]

It's not in the savor of the flavor, it's in the parry of the berry.

Now have at thee, pants of pee!

[/]

They're hard to keep dry; being splashed as you flee.

I would have you dig your own grave, but your arms are too weak.

[rishaed]

Not my arms but yours that I cut off I see.

And now your lazy bum is sleeping at sea!

[BigBallinStalin]

Aye, I needed a long rest after rubbing me barnacles all over your mum.

<guffaws at your sloppy swordplay> I remember when I had my first rum.

[kentington]

Arrggh! I prefer my sloppy swordplay to your floppy foreplay.

Take my word, you'll only hurt yourself with that sword.

[rishaed]

Too much rum, eh mate? Tis no sword, but me pistol.

Now remove your foul stench from these decks scallywag.

[Serbia]

I was expecting homo-erotic pictures involving Daniel Tosh. I'm disappointed.

[Anarkistsdream]

Too much rum, eh mate? Tis no sword, but me pistol.

Now remove your foul stench from these decks scallywag.

Stench? You mean wench, and you shouldn't speak of your mother so....

Now make sure you wipe your chin when I am done.

[shieldgenerator7]

I always do after eating losers like you for breakfast

Your sword is duller than a mailbox post

[Gillipig]

If I am a loser, what does that make of you who so sheepishly lost to me?

I'll make you lose to me again, and again and again!

[rishaed]

Maybe in Shoe size, but I'm no clown.

My opponents shall fall before my greatness!

[jonesthecurl]

Aye. they'll fall laughing at your great gut!
Now haul yerself off and die of the pox before I puncture your bloated belly!