OK, first the joke:
A high flying Sydney lawyer went duck hunting in rural NSW. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
The lawyer responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."
The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial lawyers in the southern hemisphere! If you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own!"
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things in rural NSW. We settle small disagreements like this with the Mertens Three Kick Rule."
The lawyer asked, "What is the Mertens Three Kick Rule?"
The Farmer replied, "Well, first I kick you three times, and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."
The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the Lawyer. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end sent him face-first into a fresh cow pat.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his silk suit jacket, he said, "Okay, you old coot. Now it's my turn."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."'
And now, the ad:
Photographer: Adam.J.W.C.
Creative Commons License
Sydney Tower Eye (known also as the Sydney Tower, the AMP Tower, and the Centerpoint Tower, among other names) offers a majestic view of Sydney. It stands at 309 m tall and is the second tallest freestanding building in Australia. As one of the most identifiable tourist attractions in the city, countless tourists visit it each day, bringing in untold millions in ticket revenues. Three high-speed elevators service the 40-second trip from the ground to the atmosphere, and an internationally known restaurant offers a daily buffet to discerning gourmands from all over the world.
But those who see the Tower as just another money-making venture miss the real best use of this tower. Due to its vantage point perched above the city, the Tower would make the perfect lair. From its height, enterprising villains could wreak havoc on the helpless citizens of the greater Sydney area, ensuring inestimable property damage and general chaos and disorder. Too, with its recently modified launch mechanisms at its base, the tower can be easily converted to a trans-atmospheric Rocket of Doom, complete with death lasers and neutrino bombs.
And the best part is its implausibility. Who would think that the Sydney Tower would be a criminal mastermind's sanctum sanctorum? While the rest of the world is reeling from your attack, you can relax in the lavish penthouse located at the tower's very top, a 2,000 square foot luxury panic room complete with lush carpets, a well-stocked wine cellar, and your very own matter-transfer device.
You can have all this for the low, low price of AU$ 500 million, the cost of a 400-sq. ft. apartment in Hong Kong, and will more than pay for itself after only one daring billion-dollar heist. Act today! With property values shooting up, this deal won't last for long!