by Incandenza on Tue Apr 08, 2008 2:12 am
Incandenza:
Apologies if this has already been discussed, but the text in the upper left hand corner (the "adapted fictional" bit) is pretty underwhelming. It seems to go out of its way to qualify the map. But the map itself is basically "the castle", so it's not referring to any place/event in particular. I realize that the concept is based on "where eagles dare", but it seems that everything has been fictionalized to the point where you don't need to have a full-throttle qualifier in the legend.
So why not something more aggressive and risk-ish, like "You are part of an elite paratrooper unit deep behind enemy lines. Storm Das Schloss and escape at the airport. The enemy will try and stop you!"
cairnswk:
Mmmmm....that's ok up to beginning on the starting points in the lower left, Incandenza, but everyone is also playing the part of the german enemy in Der Stadt and Der Flughafen, so your storyline doens't kind of make sense. Sorry. But if come up with something better i'll definitely consider placement, if i don't think of something myself. Thanks for the suggestion. :)
Back to Incandenza:
But the existing text already implies an Allied perspective:
"An adapted fictional story from WWII to storm Das Shloss and escape at the airport. The enemy will try and stop you!"
The "adapted fictional story" is one of storming and escaping, with no mention of the german perspective of defending and preventing/containing. Plus, the enemy will try to stop "you". And not to put too fine a point on it, but the first sentence is a grammatic shambles no matter what the subtext (I have english teachers waking up in various cold sweats at the thought of someone using an infinitive like that), and as such needs needs a rewrite whether or not my other arguments take hold.
Another thing to consider is that the map itself presupposed an Allied perspective. :::edit - I did not realize that the german troops had names::: The win condition is an Allied one. And the fact that players control both Allies and Germans can be abstracted satisfactorily without losing the essential Allies slant of the map.
I know I'm being anal (which is very much in character).
Oh, and congrats on the ff!
(btw, O powers that be, this 'no bbcode in ff threads' sucks. I'm sure it's been said, just adding my voice to the chorus)
Last edited by
Incandenza on Tue Apr 08, 2008 4:07 am, edited 1 time in total.
i am instantly drawn to the look of this one, very nice, keep up the good work!
