Conquer Club

Have you ever picked up an outhouse at a party and moved it back 3 feet? ( Make sure hole is shallow, as rescue operation is not fun). If so, this could be your clan.

To qualify, post hear and tell the cc community a "personal evil story" and you might be in!

No whiners,minors,deadbeats, or lite-beer drinkers.

No cheating or dishonorable play.

Bad grammer, punctuation, (some) spelling, acceptable, you do not have to be an english teacher, but if you slept with yours, you would probably qualify!

i don't want to join but, i do have a slightly evil story::

this story is true the names involved have not been added to protect their identity

my brother has the mother-in-law from hell. she truly is the devil. she treats him like garbage and she is just an all around nasty evil person with anyone that is in our family.
with that said. when i was a 18. i already knew she was satan. and one day she made my neice cry over something that was between kids. she went crying. was missing for several hours to be found under the cabin with a huge gash on her are. i swore i would get even.. a yr passed and it was her b'day. i went to the novelty store and bought a double ended sexual device and put it inbetween the house door & screen. she being the kind of person that wanted all her neighbors to envy her came out that morning, yelled Oh how nice someone left me flower for my b'day.
opening the box was a small not saying : Happy B'day this is for you to go F** yourself. she pulled it out of the box and i swear you could here the scream for blocks.

moral to the story.. everyone gets what they deserve at one time or another.

the end

Do you still have the device?

Oh... um... I'm not asking for me... uh... my friend was curious.

maybe your mother-in-law wants to join?

she's old and rechid can't spell that word.. payback is a wonderful thing.

and no owl i do not have it.... she did keep it lmao

a place for slighty evil fucked up stories? check. so i cant remember the good ones right now but I was just down in denmark a couple of months ago at this weeklong music festival, and totaly shitfaced for most of it. the part i remember enjoying most was the night Bob Dylan played right.. so me and my new swedish friend(who just got out of jail apperantly) get hammered drunk then decide to go f*ck with Bobbie. we get to the concert late charge our way to the front screaming obscenitys and howling laughter then start yelling at Bob to come the f*ck down and drink beer. HEY BOBBY! WE GOT BEER BOB! COME ON BOB WE GOT BEER! so Bob gives us eye contact a couple times.. fucker heard us. dont know why we didnt get arrested. then we start yelling f*ck BOB! WE GOT BEER! nonstop as we charge out of the concert. damn i never laughed so hard in my life, we were the two biggest assholes in all the 50,000 people that were there. we then went on to get even more shitfaced, assulting people with drinking songs. I woke up the next morning in my tent with a girl who tells me she had a threesome with sum germans earlier that night.. that REALLY grossed me the f*ck out. but f*ck man what a night.. I love telling this story

true story my brother stole from me i got so pissed off at him i combed my asshole hairs with his toothbrush next morning i watched him brush his teeth i had a big ole smile on my face

thats fucked up

One time on a camping trip my friend got shit faced and passed out in a lawn chair. We dug a trench around him and filled it with gasoline then lit it on fire and threw ice water on him. He woke up and was all pissed off, then he saw the fire and got scared. he fell through it and caught his pants on fire. we all just laughed. then the forest rangers showed up and we got an all expenses paid two night stay in the county jail.

no thats funny

on that same camping trip, someone fell asleep in a hammock and we untied it and moved it up the trees so he was about fifteen feet off the ground.

how would you get it that high and still manage to tie it with someone sleeping on it?

there was like three people in each tree, and they were big oaks.

hey he said evil well you f*ck with me thats the kind of shit i do another true story i was living in miami fl with three others dudes one of them stole my girlfriends ring he made a bowl of tunafish salad i jerked off in it fucking bastard i also pissed in hie chicken and yellow rice i sat there and watched him eat my jiz and piss

one day i took a bunch of gatorade bottles, filled them with water, put a card over the opening and turned them over everywhere in the school cafeteria. the card kept the water from falling out when i turned them over, but it is impossible to move the bottles after they have been turned over without the water pouring out. I laughed when the custodians tried to clean up the mess, because every one they picked up poured water all over the room and made a huge mess

I think I'm attracting some questionable characters here. My example was an urban legend, some of your "personal" stories are a little scary, although the hammock story was cool. No more clan intentions here.

???
this isnt a clan?

u guys hav done some really evil things. maybe i am just to nice but the only thing that comes to mind was i was pissed off with a guy so in the night i went to his tent with 3 other mates and flat packed the tent then started hittin then tent with him in it with sticks.

One night, I really had to get up early the next morning, so I tried to go to sleep early and managed to pull it off - lying in bed trying to fall asleep is torture for me. Then a car alarm went off. It kept going off for at least a half an hour.

So I took nails and propped them up next to all his tires, took crazy glue and glued his windshield wipers to the windows. I wanted to take crazy glue and stick it in the driver's side door key hole, and then do something nasty to the passenger side door handle, but I don't think I went that far.

What do I win?

Lycan wrote:a place for slighty evil fucked up stories? check. so i cant remember the good ones right now but I was just down in denmark a couple of months ago at this weeklong music festival, and totaly shitfaced for most of it. the part i remember enjoying most was the night Bob Dylan played right.. so me and my new swedish friend(who just got out of jail apperantly) get hammered drunk then decide to go f*ck with Bobbie. we get to the concert late charge our way to the front screaming obscenitys and howling laughter then start yelling at Bob to come the f*ck down and drink beer. HEY BOBBY! WE GOT BEER BOB! COME ON BOB WE GOT BEER! so Bob gives us eye contact a couple times.. fucker heard us. dont know why we didnt get arrested. then we start yelling f*ck BOB! WE GOT BEER! nonstop as we charge out of the concert. damn i never laughed so hard in my life, we were the two biggest assholes in all the 50,000 people that were there. we then went on to get even more shitfaced, assulting people with drinking songs. I woke up the next morning in my tent with a girl who tells me she had a threesome with sum germans earlier that night.. that REALLY grossed me the f*ck out. but f*ck man what a night.. I love telling this story

Dude, we should hang out...lol come to SF and se how we do it!!!

Theres an arsehole in my street that thinks the spot directly outside his house, is the bit of the road that belongs to him for parking his car.

(In London, its very hard to find somewhere to park - let alone outside your front door)

I drove home one day, and discovered that this guys space was free... so I parked there. I had to go out later, and returned to my car to discover that someone had thrown bits of bread on my bonnet and roof - and my car was covered in birds pecking and scratching away.

Drove off with the right hump.

Got back home and went upstairs and shit onto a piece of paper I was holding. went outside and stuck the turd inside his drivers door handle. (It's one of those sort of flat / cant see behind it handle)

revenge is a dish best served warm and steaming