Conquer Club

I'd do almost anything

How is this a game?

lick a dick? or dick a lick?

Serbia wrote:How is this a game?

It's not. Moved.

Buy another poorly run, undervalued company, break it up, strip it of its assets, pay the loan taken to buy it in the first place, keep the million change.

Fruitcake wrote:Buy another poorly run, undervalued company, break it up, strip it of its assets, pay the loan taken to buy it in the first place, keep the million change.

What would you do FOR a million dollars, not WITH. Anyway it was the worst answer ever.


I would set fire to an orphanage and hurl geriatrics off motorway bridges.

Count $1million dollars worth of pennies by hand.

heavycola wrote:What would you do FOR a million dollars, not WITH.

Jeeze...are you truly a very stupid person?

Fruitcake wrote:

heavycola wrote:What would you do FOR a million dollars, not WITH.

Jeeze...are you truly a very stupid person?

Yes. Yes I am.

Fruitcake wrote:Buy another poorly run, undervalued company, break it up, strip it of its assets, pay the loan taken to buy it in the first place, keep the million change.

How much can you acquire these crappy little companies for exactly?

Dancing Mustard wrote:How much can you acquire these crappy little companies for exactly?

Nothing...I always go for a nil cost purchase agreement, normally with present majority owner who wants to exit as rapidly as possible (after some moves).
In answer to the next question, which is normally.."How the hell can you do that?"

You spot a Company (often old Engineering, manufacturing, etc type, now pretty moribund) Often with a few old Family shareholders...go round them, make them an offer of a slice of the cake (normally they wont have seen a penny out of it for years by this time). Get the required Board position with their support, take over as CEO, get the little black book out, contact those one knows would be interested in different assets, sell them off. Pay the parties who are waiting breathlessly for their payouts, pocket the change.

Usual rule: the sum of its parts is greater than the whole.

So you're essentially 'buying' a company with assets but no current profits, but acquiring it for nothing because you're also buying its debts. Then you just flog the assets to settle the outstanding liabilities, pay a cut of any spare money to the previous owners (who facilitated your acquisition) and then keeping any remaining change?

Or have I misunderstood that completely?

Dancing Mustard wrote:So you're essentially 'buying' a company with assets but no current profits, but acquiring it for nothing because you're also buying its debts. Then you just flog the assets to settle the outstanding liabilities, pay a cut of any spare money to the previous owners (who facilitated your acquisition) and then keeping any remaining change?

Or have I misunderstood that completely?

You understood it alot better than me DM. Thanks for pointing out his intentions. Personally I would spend a million on Booze, Drugs and Women. Then knowing me, probably waste the rest of it.

Quite often the debts are pretty minimal, but the interest in operating it has long since gone. It could be some shops that are not really doing much business, a small property ownership operation..anything.

Yes, in the main, to the rest.

The key, of couse, is in spotting those companies.

I have to say, I have often kept the operation if I thought it worthwhile. Most times, however, the assets are all it is worth..and even those are only worthwhile if you are on the right network.

Damn I wish I had a business brain... I wouldn't even know where to start looking for dying companies, never mind how to go about flogging their assets to would-be vultures.

Ahhh well, back to the 'Graduate Recruitment' fairground I go.



EDIT: Hang on a second, I've just realised that what you're describing is essentially operating as a private-equity company of one person. Right?

Dancing Mustard wrote:I wouldn't even know where to start looking for dying companies

You have a sharp incisive attitude and analysis DM.

The quote above is the real boring part...imagine poring over thousands of balance sheets looking for that single one.

EDIT: Private Equity...hmmm...perhaps.

Fruitcake wrote:The quote above is the real boring part...imagine poring over thousands of balance sheets looking for that single one.

How do you go about getting hold of such things in the first place? Is it a matter of taking a long walk to Companies House, or is there some more complex procedure that you chaps in the know are privy to?

For a million dollars, I would eat a hot steamy bowl of dog shit!

aaaaaaaaaaand the tone just dropped back to its usual level. Equilibrium is restored to the CC Jungle...

Dancing Mustard wrote:aaaaaaaaaaand the tone just dropped back to its usual level. Equilibrium is restored to the CC Jungle...

Sorry, but the topic was "What would you do for a million bucks"...I find it much easier to eat a hot & steamy bowl of dog shit than to spend my good hard earned money on some run down, rat invested factory and then whip out my little black book and try to find a bunch of scabby thugs to pawn off the machinery and stuff!

Just eat the bowl of dog shit! You don't have to go through all that fucking work! What could be more profitable than that?

Dancing Mustard wrote:How do you go about getting hold of such things in the first place? Is it a matter of taking a long walk to Companies House, or is there some more complex procedure that you chaps in the know are privy to?

Loads of directions DM.

Yes, Companies House is good, jeeze it is boring though. Making sure others know one does a good job (remember, advisers such as Accts, Lawyers etc, all get their grubby paws on a cut, so they often give one the nod). Personal contacts especially with old established families who have no interest in running the family business any more.

None of it is really complicated, that's what the banks etc would have you believe...perish the thought we all realised they are, in fact, a bunch of self serving, smug, self satisfied individuals who, in the main, are mediocraty personified. Just takes time and careful thought (normally of absoloute logic and common sense).

it actually seems like the type of thing that would get much easier the 10th time around and such assuming that you didnt completely job the percentage of the people who you gained ownership of the company from, especially if they were apart of other companies boards in some capacity.

I would assume there have to be easier ways of finding how the companies are doing before youd have to actually touch base with them though, though i wouldnt know much about the fine details, i would assume starting with things the companies publish would have to be a reasonable place to start.

got tonkaed wrote:it actually seems like the type of thing that would get much easier the 10th time around and such assuming that you didnt completely job the percentage of the people who you gained ownership of the company from, especially if they were apart of other companies boards in some capacity.

I would assume there have to be easier ways of finding how the companies are doing before youd have to actually touch base with them though, though i wouldnt know much about the fine details, i would assume starting with things the companies publish would have to be a reasonable place to start.

you're absolutely right, GT.

annual reports are a great place to start. i've read a large number of them over the years, as i've grown more and more active in investing in the American stock market.

there's no substitute for experience, and at the risk of jinxing myself for life, i've gotten pretty good at reading between the lines, even from just the CEO's opening statement.

it's more art than science, trying to divine from publicly available information what is REALLY going on inside the company, but so long as i keep getting it right about 75% of the time, i'll keep being able to absorb the hits and keep moving in a positive direction.

as far as what Fruitcake suggests, i have no real experience in that arena, but it does seem like it'd be pretty easy to alienate people thoroughly and rapidly, making repeat M&A's difficult.

i wonder what'd be easier... publicly traded companies or family owned. and what would be more likely to generate negative repercussions.

Death to who ever has a million dollars, so I can steal it!

guys this is suppose to be a fun post. A post where people can see what other people would do for a million dollars. So plz pm each other about it if u hav to.