Who wins this hypothetical war?

[mookiemcgee]

Amish vs Mormons - who wins and why?

[Votanic]

Amish vs Mormons - who wins and why?

I'm founding a new hybrid religion: Mormish.
In fact, I just found some hieroglyphic tablets in the backyard. I just translated them and they are chock full of important revelations and commandments.
This is the real deal, folks. I mean totally authentic ancient prophecy-type stuff here.

This new religion of mine will be the final answer in healing any rancor and theological schisms between Amish and Mormonism.
...while also setting the groundwork for completely replacing both prior faiths, now obsolete.

mook, put me in as color Blue. I'm going to manually deploy primarily on the Sun Belt.
Also Alaska & Hawaii, if there is an inset map addition available.

[2dimes]

Mormons, they can use technology, while the Amish, and I know the old world craftsmanship will be fantastic, are going to show up wielding sticks.

[Votanic]

Mormons, they can use technology, while the Amish, and I know the old world craftsmanship will be fantastic, are going to show up wielding sticks.

Technology?!
If tech is going to win the day, then you better move aside for the Scientologists (color: Yellow).
Their Xenu-Thetans can one-way bombard enemy defenses!
Preclear-sinners, you 're best off repenting/converting NOW!

[DirtyDishSoap]

Whatever side allows me to watch porn. I'm a simple man, with the common idea that we all need to solve issues with a hand.

[2dimes]

The Mormons can launch missiles and use electronic communication devices.

Meanwhile here's the sort of tech Votanic and the scientoligists are going to be bringing to the battlefield.

show

[saxitoxin]

Louisiana, obviously

[Votanic]

Louisiana, obviously

The Roman Catholic/Voodooists (color: Pink) that dwell in the gloomy swamp-bayou parishes of Louisiana are indeed powerful foes.
If their pinned doll sympathetic magic and saint/loa hybrids don't get you, their celibate (wink) ninja-like priest-caste will jump you like an altar boy in the church changing room!

Mormons, they can use technology, while the Amish, and I know the old world craftsmanship will be fantastic, are going to show up wielding sticks.

Technology?!
If tech is going to win the day, then you better move aside for the Scientologists (color: Yellow).
Their Xenu-Thetans can one-way bombard enemy defenses!
Preclear-sinners, you 're best off repenting/converting NOW!

Knock, knock... Hmm, a pair of Elder missionaries have arrived at Mormon headquarters bringing reinforcement copies of The Book of Mormon!
Wait those aren't T.B.O.M.s ...they're... Watchtowers!!! Egads, it's an ambush by you prostelytizing arch-enemies, the Jehovah's Witnesses! (color: Cyan)

Six more team colors to go (at least), so there is definitely room for both Israeli/Jews and Hamas/Islam/Orthodox teams to join the fracas!

[Lonous]

I'm not sure the Amish have a superhero on their side.
The Mormons do.

[KoolBak]

What aboot the Mennonites? Been more o those folk popping up!

[Dukasaur]

What aboot the Mennonites? Been more o those folk popping up!

Depends if they ally with their Amish brethren, or fight with them for domination.

[jonesthecurl]

Whatever side allows me to watch porn. I'm a simple man, with the common idea that we all need to solve issues with a hand.

Issues? or tissues?

[DirtyDishSoap]

Bless you?

[mookiemcgee]

Whatever side allows me to watch porn. I'm a simple man, with the common idea that we all need to solve issues with a hand.

Looks like someone is moving to Canada to sit this war out.

[mookiemcgee]

What aboot the Mennonites? Been more o those folk popping up!

The mennos are all going to be battalion five on the front lines in the war...



(they side with the Amish in 100% of my models)

[Votanic]

What aboot the Mennonites? Been more o those folk popping up!

The mennos are all going to be battalion five on the front lines in the war...



(they side with the Amish in 100% of my models)

Call total B.S. on that. Sects don't schism so they can then turn around and support another sect at 100%.

I'll deal with this.
Mennonites (color: Orange)
Quakers (color: Silver)
OMG, their is no gray/silver color on the little color box selector. I had to actually go look up the code. That might be an omen...
Shakers (color: Violet)
Actually, zombie-Shakers (only kind left), ...They return with some seriously bad news about the after-life.
Moonies (color: Lime) UNSTOPPABLE MASS-WEDDING PHALANX. Suffer fools.
Israelis/Jews (color: Rust)
Hamas/Islam/Orthodox (color: Olive Drab)
I'm also going to include other miscellaneous religions here (Buddhist, Hindu, Zorastrians, Sikhs, Jains, assorted Pagans, etc. ...I doubt that will become a problem.

Okay! Let's Play Ball!!!

[mookiemcgee]

What aboot the Mennonites? Been more o those folk popping up!

The mennos are all going to be battalion five on the front lines in the war...



(they side with the Amish in 100% of my models)

Call total B.S. on that. Sects don't schism so they can then turn around and support another sect at 100%.

I'll deal with this.
Mennonites (color: Orange)
Quakers (color: Silver)
OMG, their is no gray/silver color on the little color box selector. I had to actually go look up the code. That might be an omen...
Shakers (color: Violet)
Actually, zombie-Shakers (only kind left), ...They return with some seriously bad news about the after-life.
Moonies (color: Lime) UNSTOPPABLE MASS-WEDDING PHALANX. Suffer fools.
Israelis/Jews (color: Rust)
Hamas/Islam/Orthodox (color: Olive Drab)
I'm also going to include other miscellaneous religions here (Buddhist, Hindu, Zorastrians, Sikhs, Jains, assorted Pagans, etc. ...I doubt that will become a problem.

Okay! Let's Play Ball!!!

Looks like someone has never watched a single episode of Amish Mafia

[Votanic]

What aboot the Mennonites? Been more o those folk popping up!

The mennos are all going to be battalion five on the front lines in the war...



(they side with the Amish in 100% of my models)

Call total B.S. on that. Sects don't schism so they can then turn around and support another sect at 100%.

I'll deal with this.
Mennonites (color: Orange)
Quakers (color: Silver)
OMG, their is no gray/silver color on the little color box selector. I had to actually go look up the code. That might be an omen...
Shakers (color: Violet)
Actually, zombie-Shakers (only kind left), ...They return with some seriously bad news about the after-life.
Moonies (color: Lime) UNSTOPPABLE MASS-WEDDING PHALANX. Suffer fools.
Israelis/Jews (color: Rust)
Hamas/Islam/Orthodox (color: Olive Drab)
I'm also going to include other miscellaneous religions here (Buddhist, Hindu, Zorastrians, Sikhs, Jains, assorted Pagans, etc. ...I doubt that will become a problem.

Okay! Let's Play Ball!!!

Looks like someone has never watched a single episode of Amish Mafia

Don't mean to brag, ...but, No, I definitely have not.
However, Wikipedia's intro-paragraph goes like this:

Amish Mafia is an American reality television[1] series that debuted on December 12, 2012, on the Discovery Channel. The series follows "Lebanon Levi", along with three of his assistants, who are purported to be a "mafia" in an Amish community. Although portrayed by Discovery Channel as documentary "reality" television, the authenticity of the series has been refuted by scholars, local newspapers, and law enforcement. The supposed secret organization within the Amish is known to be an entirely fictional creation for entertainment purposes only. There have also been accusations of the series being bigoted toward and defaming the Amish people.

Defaming Amish people!?!...?!?!? ...?
This thread is completely opposed to the defamation of anyone for their religious beliefs.

...at least my own record is a clear validation of this noble principle.

[bigtoughralf]

How do the Amish define the line between technology that's okay to use and technology that's not okay? Is it something to do with electricity?

[Dukasaur]

How do the Amish define the line between technology that's okay to use and technology that's not okay? Is it something to do with electricity?

No, it's a lot simpler than that. The basic Anabaptist commitment is to "lead a simple life". Different communities of Amish and Mennonites define what that means, and even different individuals within communities sometimes come up with different standards.

In many communities it means not using powered machinery. In others it's either less extreme or more extreme. I've seen some that are almost medieval, and others that have Internet and computers. As long as they honestly believe that their life is simple, there are no dogmatic prohibitions on any specific technology.

[Votanic]

How do the Amish define the line between technology that's okay to use and technology that's not okay? Is it something to do with electricity?

No, it's a lot simpler than that. The basic Anabaptist commitment is to "lead a simple life". Different communities of Amish and Mennonites define what that means, and even different individuals within communities sometimes come up with different standards.

In many communities it means not using powered machinery. In others it's either less extreme or more extreme. I've seen some that are almost medieval, and others that have Internet and computers. As long as they honestly believe that their life is simple, there are no dogmatic prohibitions on any specific technology.

This revelation is going to lead to a massive hoard of mindless (aka 'simple') web-denizens suddenly self-identifying as Amish.
...and then expecting the Government to pay for their operations!!

[mookiemcgee]

How do the Amish define the line between technology that's okay to use and technology that's not okay? Is it something to do with electricity?

No, it's a lot simpler than that. The basic Anabaptist commitment is to "lead a simple life". Different communities of Amish and Mennonites define what that means, and even different individuals within communities sometimes come up with different standards.

In many communities it means not using powered machinery. In others it's either less extreme or more extreme. I've seen some that are almost medieval, and others that have Internet and computers. As long as they honestly believe that their life is simple, there are no dogmatic prohibitions on any specific technology.

Yeah agree, there are Amish who ride around in cars and pay non-amish people to drive the car and i guess it's ok because they arent engaging the tech themselves in most communities that wouldn't fly. The standard is a bit all over the place but i think generally the Mennonite communities have a more liberal interpretation around what's allowed. It isn't all about tech either, some communities people can't wear clothes with color in them. I think it's about avoiding temptations that could corrupt your relationship with god/personal sense of purity. So it's sort of open ended and different community leaders kind of set the tone for what is/isn't allowed in their own group.

[Votanic]

How do the Amish define the line between technology that's okay to use and technology that's not okay? Is it something to do with electricity?

No, it's a lot simpler than that. The basic Anabaptist commitment is to "lead a simple life". Different communities of Amish and Mennonites define what that means, and even different individuals within communities sometimes come up with different standards.

In many communities it means not using powered machinery. In others it's either less extreme or more extreme. I've seen some that are almost medieval, and others that have Internet and computers. As long as they honestly believe that their life is simple, there are no dogmatic prohibitions on any specific technology.

Yeah agree, there are Amish who ride around in cars and pay non-amish people to drive the car and i guess it's ok because they arent engaging the tech themselves in most communities that wouldn't fly. The standard is a bit all over the place but i think generally the Mennonite communities have a more liberal interpretation around what's allowed. It isn't all about tech either, some communities people can't wear clothes with color in them. I think it's about avoiding temptations that could corrupt your relationship with god/personal sense of purity. So it's sort of open ended and different community leaders kind of set the tone for what is/isn't allowed in their own group.

Seez there. Seez there! Them Amish ares just likes reg'lar folk, Theys either be does whats they reely wants to does. or else theys does what theys made to dooz, by ther bettah's who done be holdin' da whip. Only they done be callin' what they wants and they s mades to do: God. Yesirree, theys jus' likes ever'one else.