Conquer Club

I'm sure quite a few of you are going to make fun of this, but I implore you all to give it a chance and see what you yourself can do.


The way this works is similar to the answer a question with a question thread were a conversation takes place in the form of a question. However, instead of questions, this must be done like a poem, the funnier and wordier, the better. I'll start.

NO HAIKU!!!!!!!!!




I now submit this thread to you,
CC members old and new,
I pray you find it worth your time,
To give this thread a little rhyme,
And if you find it rather weird,
That a full grown man with beard,
Should write a poem you may not want,
Apologize for it I can't.

You start us with a piece of poo.
I really cannot see how you
Imagine that a word like "can't"
Can rhyme with "want" and so I shan't
attempt to play this game - but wait!
it seems I've done so - such is fate.

You mock the choices which I make,
Of rhyming want with can't,
Your intellect I tried to wake,
But it is of an ant.

It is plain for me to see,
That no one likes this thread,
But don't expect me to flee,
Until you all are dead.

you say that i will not post,
in this new poetry thread,
so here i am at to deliver and boast,
as i oppose what you said

As happy as I am to see,
Renwold posting here with me,
I wonder still what is to come,
When jonesthecurl makes plain he's dumb.

it is so sad that you have to go,
today i hope ive made a friend not a foe,
hopefully ill see you on the morrow,
and youll not be filled with sorrow.

You shall indeed see me around,
My posts you'll see are abound,
And when at last we meet again,
We shall eat a Cornish hen.

the eating of birds I must endorse
for were they not once dinosaurs?
those foes of mammals we now can kill
and happily our stomachs fill

tongue of the speaking snake sniffed
snake then slithered away pontificating
unctuous ostrich wrote a bit miffed
then strutted looking for its egg proliferating
paleontologist with cute name stiffed
everyone with irony well articulating

leaving the french guy hungry

The rules did not state whether a haiku was allowed,
Therefore I shall make one, honourable and proud:

Oh my darling cushion, your toes are envious
I can see a snake in the undergrowth...

My eyes!

Minister Masket wrote:The rules did not state whether a haiku was allowed,
Therefore I shall make one, honourable and proud:

Oh my darling cushion, your toes are envious
I can see a snake in the undergrowth...

My eyes!

The rules they asked for poetry,
And that was not poetic,
It was mere stupidity,
And therefor quite pathetic.

Pot or kettle?

(to be read aloud with appropriate accent where needed - you'll see where it's important.

This poetry's called "off the cuff",
and some of the stuff's pretty rough.
You might rhyme "can't" with "ant",
But I'd rhyme "can't" with "aunt".
And that over there's a tomato.

Why not can't with ant?
It sounds the same as aunt
So jones, tke some rest
In that small birds nest.

Why would "ant" sound like "aunt"?
A peculiar slant.
Or does the word "slant"
also match up with "ant"
in the U.S. vernacular,
with it's silly, spectacular,
way of pronouncing "tomato"?

The Yanks do say tomaeto,
And the Brits do say tomahto,
The Greeks they have their Plato,
While the Germans drive an Auto.

I'm going to bed
once I post on this thread.
hope that we all say
all these words the same way.

if all these words are written the same way,
im afraid i will have to say,
i cannot agree and this is quite bad,
i am still typing the same way which is quite sad.

The Off-the-Cuff Poetry Thread
Is quite crappy but has to be fed.
That bloke jonesthecurl
is the worst of 'em all.
That didn't rhyme, wot I just said...

all day long
poetry in my mind
now a place
to post some of mine

it started today
when robinette did say
that she she was near
500 games she that played

for the party was brief
and not very fun
but now im rymming so much
I need a gun

for once rymmeing starts
it will not stop
and its annoying me more
than the damn hip-hop

if any can help
i send this plea
just come to my house
and execute me

make it stop
i beg of you
for the sickness is bad
worse than any flu

contageous more
than any virus
the rymming must stop
as it dialates my iris

if any in here
could be so kind
just pluck out my eyes
and make me blind

or better yet
cut off my fingers
and maybe the rymmes
will no longer linger

this goes on for all
to see how bad
the rymming is now
making me mad.

theres no place to stop
the well is not dry
Its driving me crazy
im about to cry

in the end
i must not continue on
for any i pity those
who are smoking a bong

for this is so bad
that it's painful to see
how bad the poetry
has infected me

I apologize for its length
as i said before
i cannot stop
im a poetry whore.

im so sorry

Don't be so contrite my dear AAFitz,
Your poem, hilarious, witty and grand,
If one man after reading it spits,
His head shall meet the back of my hand.

I only wish that you would continue,
To grace us with your witty libretto,
For if you neglect to post in this venue,
It will surly become a ghetto.

then indeed Ill continue
to share in this venue
for I know no pleasure
more than writing at leisure

though in jest my words are
intended so far
hither to, perhaps
ill inspire you chaps

for if you can now see
how much full of glee
while on my writing spree
perhaps you will see that theres still hope for me.

The language of skill;
Conquerers musing and versed
Delighting in rhyme.

I have nothing to say
And nothing to do
So I guess I'll stay
And write stuff for you