by e_i_pi on Sun Jan 11, 2009 3:53 pm
1 ) I ask the slaves to line up for me in an orderly fashion, and I walk down the line inspecting the slaves. I am looking for particular features I feel work work together. I then pick up one of the chainsaws and hack off the good bits. You know, strong legs, solid cranium, big fists, that sort of thing.
2 ) I then tie the prime slave bits together using small intestines from some of the slaves that didn't make it, and I connect them with nerves from similar slaves that didn't make it. Or one's that did make it. Whichever, I'm not fussed.
3 ) Once I have created megaslave, I use the chainsaw to make a delicate cut in the back on his neck, insert the everlasting batteries, and fire him up. Et voila! Mechaslave!
4 ) I notice that Mechaslave is suffering from, well, being stitched together hastily, so I ask him to eat a heap of turkeys in order to recover his strength. Mechaslave becomes strong healthy and fit, though a little sleepy.
5 ) I direct megaslave to walk into the desert and seek enlightenment. Mechaslave returns after a while, and insists that a burning bush told him that arena combat would be "teh awesum"
6 ) I get the slaves to build a dojo out of the logs on top of one of the mountains, and invite the battle master to live there and be head battle dude. Once the slaves are done with that, I get them to build a makeshift arena out of logs and get them to pave the arena using rocks they've gotten from the remaining four mountains
7 ) Once done, I meld the slaves with the turkeys using the furnace, attaching turkeys to each of the slaves hands. I then ask battle master to train the turkeyslaves in the delicate art of Turkeyjitsu
8 ) The turkeyslaves then file into the arena and form a small army of Turkeyjitsu acolytes, a la Monkey Magic
9 ) I unleash Mechaslave onto the turkeyslaves
10 ) ???
11 ) Profit!