Conquer Club

A story must be at least 100 letters long and not end in such a way that the next writer has to start something new. This will be one big continously running story that will never end, and hopefully be fun to read (and write). Do not write anything out of context and do not copy and paste a text that you've found. No pornographic, absurdly violent, disgusting or otherwise inappropriate texts. The more you write the better. And ingenuity is of course appreciated.

Here it begns:

As Richard walked down the streets of Melbourne he noticed something peculiar. There was a hole as large as a car in the middle of the street. Richard, being of the inquisitive sort, walked up to the hole and looked down it. Little did he know that a grossly overweight kid on a bicycle was heading his way in 100 miles an hour. Richard only had time to see that the hole was large and black, before he felt the front wheel of a bicycle burrowing it's way into his groin, and subsequently carrying both him, the fat kid and his bicycle down into the hole.

To be continued.......

With a painful groin, and a possible broken set of ribs, Richard started to get up. He had to roll the fat kid off of his chest. The kid splashed into water next to him and got Richard wet. It was hard for Richard to get up, breaking the fall of a fatty can really take it out of you. He leaned over the water and only then realized that it wasn't water. The liquid was bluish and had a luminescence. He looked over at the floating fat kid to see if the liquid had done anything to him before wiping his face and taking a sip.
But as he looked at the fat kid he noticed...

...that the fat kid was panicing! He was splashing left and right! Crying "help! help! I've got my best suit on and I'm getting wet and my mommy will kill me if she finds out!"
And so Richard said, "Calm down, kid. It's only a strange blue liquid I've never seen before. It'll wash right out."
The fat kid smiled and then started jumping for joy, "Yay! My mommy's not going to kill me now!"
And then Richard noticed a bug crawling up the fat kid's back...

The fat kid had a colony of parasitic alien cockroaches living inside him for years. He would actually have been skinny if it weren't for that. The fall had split open both the kid's skin and the rubbery alien endo-capsule that the cockroaches lived inside. Now the alien cockroaches were beginning to crawl out of his corpse, thereby indicating that the kid had also just died, probably from his serious injuries. Thhe protagonist Richard immediately realized that parasitic alien cockroachees escaping into the Terran ecosystem could have grave ecological impicaitons, so he quickly shot fiery red lasers beams out of his eyes that immediately incinereated both the kid's corpse and all the cockroaches.