1. It is not vegetation.
2. In area and volume it is not larger than a basketball [this is kind of hard to determine and therefore may be iffy], but depending it MAY be wider than a basketball.
3. By itself, it is not mobile.
4. Yes, you do put it somewhere on your body (as in it can also be wearable).
5. It is not an accessory.
6. Not a tattoo (tattoos have dimensions?).
7. Is not mechanical.
8. Not a shirt
9. It is an article of clothing,
10. but not a coat.
11. Cannot be worn on your head (this rules out a hat)
12. Is not a skirt
13. Not kevlar
14. Not a scarf
15. It IS worn below the belly button for the most part.