Conquer Club

Leaders: Vace Cooper and Owenshooter
Members: a bunch of ass kickers
Theme song: The final countdown
Kick: ass
Advantages to being a bandit:
1.vengeance-proof umbrella plan. Along with health, dental, and vision.
2.access to our top secret off site webpage.
3.Special edition signatures!:

Wow I never thought I would see the day the bpb went out and asked people to join.

killmanic wrote:Wow I never thought I would see the day the bpb went out and asked people to join.

Don't get too excited. He's just being sarcastic.

Why am I so good looking, and you are not?

I Like Soup wrote:we are hard up for membership. Discuss.

perhaps you guys should start a thread in the Call-Outs forum. Sorry, that's all I have to add to the discussion.

I applied for the clan but nothing has happened? Have I been rejected?

We have a number of requests to join locked away in our super-secret, off-site forum. Nobody has been denied yet. we would love to do one mass recruiting. we will weed out the best of the best from the rest.

Got rank? Great!
Got low rank BUT you have many other qualities and/or are just climbing your way back up a rough, trip with the dice of death? Sweet!
Are you a forum freak? Great!
Are you good at mediating conflict? Super!
Are you well educated? Superb!

Please just indicate within this thread if you are interested and why. Please remember we are a ONE clan - clan. We want to have everybody have a great time, get along, get in nasty little cat fights, talk a lot of shit, but have a great time doing it (we sure do). We want to be able to trust and honor each other outside the super-secret forum. Please remember that this started as a "real life" group of friends, and it has grown into the BPB! Beer is a good thing for those tourneys that involve lots of alcohol consumption **hoping there is one in the works** we have been practicing.

So, post your reason why you want to join and anything else pertinent, i.e. so your chances of being grouped with the best are better, here in this thread.

Well - we look forward to hearing from you!

fwblb - katy

wat katy said is true...the core group are all rl friends and others have been added in and we have became good friends. so if you have something u wanna offer. then post away my friends post away

I got no education. And I'm not witty. I'm as dull as a hammer. But other than that........

hey wait up.......1 clan only....blah.....I take back my wanting to be in this....

So...

My wife just gave birth to our first kid. It was actually pretty crazy. Yeah... I get home from work, and, right off the bat, she's in my face saying it's time to go. Me being the aloof bastard that I am, I ask, "Go where?" She just looks at me like I'm a complete idiot, which I am. So I round up all of the necessities:

Baby stuffs (diapers, bottles, clothes, burp rags, etc...)
Wife stuffs (clothes, a vast array of ointments, etc...)
Husband stuffs (IPOD?, crash helmet for when I faint because I know it's going to happen, change of clothes for when I am imminently spattered upon, etc...)

We pile into the car and speed off to the hospital. Traffic is horrible, so that week I spent at the Nascar Training School for Wannabes really pays off. When we get there, I run into the waiting room, incoherently babbling about what's going on. The nurse at the check-in station must speak Incoherent Babble because she knows exactly what I'm saying.

When my lovely wife is finally settled in her room (can I say settled? She's nine months pregnant with a belly the size of a large beer keg and the worst pair of cankles you've ever seen!), I get ready for my part of what's about to happen. You see, everyone has there job when it comes to giving birth. The mother-to-be... well... she does her thing. The doc (hopefully) knows their job. Me? I'm the DJ. Hence, the IPOD. That's right. I'm not letting this kid into the world without a proper dose of Michael Jackson and Hall and Oates "Maneater".

As I'm setting up the DJ equipment, the nurse informs me that it's time to start pushing. Oh? Is that what she's screaming for? Great! So the nurse looks at me and says, "Do you want to help?"

"Sure", I say. "I'm the DJ. Don't you see the IPOD?" The nurse winces and tells me to help with the right leg. Isn't that HER job?

So I'm standing there, holding up the right leg (which is what got us here in the first place), and the doctor walks in. Within a few minutes, he says, "I can see the head. Take a look!" I imagine it looks like a purple rock with a bit of hair, but that sounds gross, so I don't look. After ten minutes or so, he looks up at me and asks, "Do you want to help with the head?"

"No!", I think. But I don't like confrontation, so I agree. I reach down and grab the head in my hands and give it a little tug.

"Pull a little harder than that", says the doctor.

"I might pull the head off!", I pronounce.

"You won't pull the head off." So I pull harder. The neck is really elongating... kinda like those African women. You know, the ones with the discs? Finally, the baby is free and I'm covered in... something... I don't know what. But the baby looks great (as great as can be, I guess), and I lay him down on my wife's chest. The doc holds out a pair of weird-looking scissors and says, "Do you want to cut the umbilical cord?" (Do I have to do all the work here?)

"No!", I think, but the whole confrontation thing... you know. So I agree.

Clamp... clamp... snip... and he's free of the womb forever. No going back. Both wife and baby look great.

And we have a son. What have we gotten ourselves into? Well, time to start living vicariously through the little tike. Hey! That breast is mine!!! GET OFF OF IT!

...

Why should you consider me for the Bullet-Proof Bandits? My rank is on the rise, I'm a very enjoyable person to be around, and I'm looking for a quality group of people to associate with here at CC.

Why would anyone want to join a clan, where it's own clan members make nominations, and don't ever hear back from it's "Fearless Leader?" Who is running this monkey outfit again? Let the Anarchy begin!!!!! and Chaos rule!!!!!!!

What i want to know is if this clan is representative of broader society!

Personally i think not!
i have noticed you have a gay man and a personage of Afro-Caribbean heritage (as it happens you have 2 in one there) but you are definitely missing a Welshman and a Scandinavian Lesbian! (If i can talk my wife into it you can count this as my application.)

Where is Owens 2 cents? lol

happy2seeyou wrote:Where is Owens 2 cents? lol

Someone offered him a penny for his thoughts, and he felt ripped off, since he had 2 cents worth.

would it be the right moment for my "Owen has no cents at all" joke!?
ba-dum-dum-cheusssssccchh

naah!!

So what's this thread in call outs, can anyone tell me?

Are the BpBs actually recruiting? I am thinking of joining a clan, but that thread looks like a spiders web...or perhaps Im wrong.

viewtopic.php?f=31&t=51361

Thanks

Timminz wrote:

happy2seeyou wrote:Where is Owens 2 cents? lol

Someone offered him a penny for his thoughts, and he felt ripped off, since he had 2 cents worth.

1 penny is worth more than 2 cents in todays market.

C.

Vace Cooper wrote:To prevent trolls and 'clan-spys' from entering our ranks, we're keen for new recruits to conform to a one-clan rule for their time with us. With this in mind, and as a clan that believes firmly in the equity of its members, we would ask any applicants to publicly disown any existing clan memberships they may presently enjoy. This is not to be derogatory to other clans, far from it, the BpBs have to be strict in this policy to ensure the safety of information and genuine members who want to join Conquer Club’s sexiest clan.

fwblb wrote:Please remember we are a ONE clan - clan.

So that's why lord voldemort is in 5+ other clans; and Dancing Mustard 5+ other clans as well...

...Makes sense.


ECX

Well it doesn't matter if you just keep denying it.

El Capitan X wrote:

fwblb wrote:Please remember we are a ONE clan - clan.

So that's why lord voldemort is in 5+ other clans; and Dancing Mustard 5+ other clans as well...

...Makes sense.


ECX

It doesn't apply to members we already have. We picked out the base members that serve as cornerstones for the ultra-mega empire we plan to create. Now that we have a solid foundation, we want a 1 clan rule... Wait! what the f*ck!... We can do whatever we want! We are the Bullet-Proof Bandits. If we want a 1 clan rule now, we can. Thats what we have all decided. Before this thread was even posted, we all put in suggestions, and ideas until we were all satisfied with what we all wanted for new members. People that dont like our requests need not apply.
-V and the BPB

El Capitan X wrote:

Vace Cooper wrote:To prevent trolls and 'clan-spys' from entering our ranks, we're keen for new recruits to conform to a one-clan rule for their time with us. With this in mind, and as a clan that believes firmly in the equity of its members, we would ask any applicants to publicly disown any existing clan memberships they may presently enjoy. This is not to be derogatory to other clans, far from it, the BpBs have to be strict in this policy to ensure the safety of information and genuine members who want to join Conquer Club’s sexiest clan.

fwblb wrote:Please remember we are a ONE clan - clan.

So that's why lord voldemort is in 5+ other clans; and Dancing Mustard 5+ other clans as well...

...Makes sense.


ECX

cause the others arent clans knob head...
one is mafia, one is tournys, one is spamalot, one is esoog(mafia), one is aussie one is speed games....

lord voldemort wrote:

El Capitan X wrote:

Vace Cooper wrote:To prevent trolls and 'clan-spys' from entering our ranks, we're keen for new recruits to conform to a one-clan rule for their time with us. With this in mind, and as a clan that believes firmly in the equity of its members, we would ask any applicants to publicly disown any existing clan memberships they may presently enjoy. This is not to be derogatory to other clans, far from it, the BpBs have to be strict in this policy to ensure the safety of information and genuine members who want to join Conquer Club’s sexiest clan.

fwblb wrote:Please remember we are a ONE clan - clan.

So that's why lord voldemort is in 5+ other clans; and Dancing Mustard 5+ other clans as well...

...Makes sense.


ECX

cause the others arent clans knob head...
one is mafia, one is tournys, one is spamalot, one is esoog(mafia), one is aussie one is speed games....

Get 'im!!!

lord voldemort wrote:cause the others arent clans knob head...
one is mafia, one is tournys, one is spamalot, one is esoog(mafia), one is aussie one is speed games....

Mr. Defensive, throwing a hissy-fit...

Tisk tisk on you.

I inquire, why is Esoog listed as a competitive clan then? -0


KTHNXBAI!!!1!
ECX

The Butt-Plug Bandits are a group of cowards whose clan sucks worse than dick cancer.

Just be aware, all you unsuspecting noobs, that the Butt-Pluggers levy quarterly membership dues, to the tune of $5 Canadian. These funds are promptly crammed up Vace Cooper and Owenshooter's nose and anal cavity, respectively.

You should also be aware that the Butt-Plugger's clan model was ordered on that of the U.S. Church of Scientology. These wankers will brainwash you into believing you are "sexy" and capable of curing tuberculosis and aim to swindle you out of all your money, if given the slightest chance.

If you'd like to learn more about the self-appointed "Sexiest Clan in CC", please see the attached link:

http://www.conquerclub.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=51433

This public service announcement is over, for now at least. You are all very welcome.