Conquer Club

For the 121st edition of the Dispatch, TOFU foot soldier, pond and waterfall builder ChrisPond will be interrogated.

Ask away!

When you're in the middle of a pond erection, have you ever dropped your rocks into the hole?

How much would you be willing to pay to learn that your interest in building ponds stems from your bed wetting years?
How many clans turned you down before TOFU let you in?
How disappointed were you to find, at registration, that hopalong was already taken, and that the best your imagination could then come up with was 'ChrisPond'?
What does L M S really stand for?
What are your failproof superstitions you turn to when you want to break a bad dice streak?
What have you been burying under all them ponds? Your secrets will be safe here.

Wasn't ChrisPond interviewed not so long ago?

iAmCaffeine wrote:Wasn't ChrisPond interviewed not so long ago?

is this your question for the interrogation? i expected a little more from you.

Why do you have your top rank and score in your signature?

What's the best thing about being in TOFU?

Are you CoF in disguise?

If not, are you something Dako created in the depths of his Russian fortress?

What special abilities do you have?

How many times do you tell hopalong to hop off?

On a scale of yes to definitely, how bipolar is L M S?

Who is your favourite TOFU lady? Don't give any shit answers please, just choose one.

How come TOFU's recruitment requirements have dropped over recent months (not including you)?

Do you feel the clan is desperate to re-achieve it's top flight status?

What made you join TOFU over any other clan?

Why do you prefer joining an already established clan rather than one that is new to the scene and making a big name?

Have you ever played JamesPond? Are you related?

Think very, very carefully about one of the previous questions in this thread!

If you could build a water feature anywhere in the world, with an unlimited budget, what would you build, where would you build it, and why that location and design?

How would you build a water feature on a moon base, where gravity is much lower? Assume the water is completely recycled, but there are no other constraints, except the gravity issue.

What kind of water feature would you design for a spaceship, where the people would be on it for years, and would need a water feature to stay sane?

Is it at all reasonable to build a water feature that flows over a dwelling? For instance, an earth-sheltered home built into a hillside, such that a water feature would make the home blend in even more with the surrounding landscaping, maybe even hiding it, and one entered the house by walking behind a waterfall? How much would this cost, and what would be needed to ensure that there were no leaks through the "roof"?

What is the strangest thing that ever happened while you were building a water feature?

What is the funniest thing that ever happened while you were building a water feature?

Is there specific rules as to the maximum sizes of a Puddle, Pond and Lake? At what stage does a puddle become a pond, become a lake?

iAmCaffeine wrote:Do you feel the clan is desperate to re-achieve it's top flight status?

When did the clan lose it's top flight status?

Deli wrote:

iAmCaffeine wrote:Do you feel the clan is desperate to re-achieve it's top flight status?

When did the clan lose it's top flight status?

Well, it's not #1.

iAmCaffeine wrote:

Deli wrote:

iAmCaffeine wrote:Do you feel the clan is desperate to re-achieve it's top flight status?

When did the clan lose it's top flight status?

Well, it's not #1.

TOFU is:

#1 on latest update of F400
#1 on latest update of F41
#1 on latest update on leap ladder

could not find the latest coach's poll though.

I see I am stalking my own interrogation thread...i may have to ask myself some questions later?

ChrisPond wrote:

iAmCaffeine wrote:

Deli wrote:

iAmCaffeine wrote:Do you feel the clan is desperate to re-achieve it's top flight status?

When did the clan lose it's top flight status?

Well, it's not #1.

TOFU is:

#1 on latest update of F400
#1 on latest update of F41
#1 on latest update on leap ladder

could not find the latest coach's poll though.

I see I am stalking my own interrogation thread...i may have to ask myself some questions later?

Yeah, please try to hold your answers until the thread is closed and we've officially sent them to you. Otherwise, there's no reason for people to buy the newsletter...

~ What is the best pond you have ever created?

~ How many beavers are on your staff?

~ How many “beavers” are on your “staff?”

~ Is it true you are the original creator of the PED (Performance Enhancing Dice) script?

~ Do you think a “cat-fight” would occur if you picked the wrong TOFU lady?

~ If Aeternus and TOFU were in a clan war, how many games do you think it would take before Aeternus cried uncle?

~ If you could have lunch with any one person, dead or alive, who would it be and why?

~ Have you ever trained for, or competed in, a tri-athlon? (edited question)

~ Do you believe LMS is awesome?

~ Who are the players you respect the most on CC? Why?

~ Do you believe in mind control?

Oh wonderful teammate Chrispond,
Regale us with your tale of your favorite victory of all time. Is there a whimsical tactical strategery that you are most fond of?

Tell us (pictures are nice) of your favorite fountain, waterfall, pond, or pool you have fashioned?

Legend has it you are 8feet tall and shoot fire out of your A--, is that truth?

What is your favorite map to play?

In your spare time, when bonding with family, what is your favorite activity?

What is your favorite movie?
Of all the superheros (including all genre) who wins a fight to the death and support?

Are you related to Amelia Pond?
As a pond expert - what mix would you recommend to repair the crack in the wall?
Would you recommend using angel statues around a water feature?s

ChrisPond wrote:

iAmCaffeine wrote:

Deli wrote:

iAmCaffeine wrote:Do you feel the clan is desperate to re-achieve it's top flight status?

When did the clan lose it's top flight status?

Well, it's not #1.

TOFU is:

#1 on latest update of F400
#1 on latest update of F41
#1 on latest update on leap ladder

could not find the latest coach's poll though.

I see I am stalking my own interrogation thread...i may have to ask myself some questions later?

Hm, I haven't checked out the latest rankings so I guess you got back up there.

Goes to show how much I've been paying attention to rankings too
Never fear, we will smite you in the finals and win back what is rightfully ours.

As a pond expert, what kind of pond would you build for fishydance and her friend spleenfish?

After you submit your answers, do you think the mods will discuss a word limit for future dispatches?

Filets--rare, med rare, med, burnt?

Do you think Jackal could disguise his beef brisket as a vegetarian dish and serve it to cat?

iAmCaffeine wrote:
On a scale of yes to definitely, how bipolar is L M S?

On a scale of yes to definitely, does iamcaffine have a life-size poster of L M S hanging up in his office?

If the Conquer Rome map were a publicly traded stock, would you buy, sell, or hold?

Do you ask your clients to address you as "ChrisPond"?

Trucks--Ford, Chevy, or Dodge?

Favourite song?

Do you think it's fair to consider the Gulf Stream a river and that it is therefore, the largest river in the world?

Can you define a pond?
Favorite flavor of Ice Cream?

If you could go back time, would go back to the day you signed up for CC and stop yourself doing it?

Will you be allowed to move form the couch to the bed, now that your wife knows that you are famous on CC?

What do you want most to happen at/with CC?

How long did you need for you (a) fastest and (b) slowest turn?

What is your longterm goal at CC?

Do you prefer to pond creating or pond cleaning?

How did you end up as a pond maker and what did you want to become when you were a kid?

When will you allow your son to loose his youth and spend all day and night at CC - like his dad?

When will you allow your wife to play at CC?

How much did you understand the map that you like best now during your first game on that map?

How much chuck could a woodchuck chuck..... if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

What sound do you love?
What is your most embarrassing experience?
What do you miss most about being a kid?
At what age did you become an adult?
What's the hardest thing you've ever done?

What is it about Conquer Rome you like so well?
What do you wish was different about CC?
What about the game keeps you here?
Are you self taught or did you have a mentor when you first joined the site?
If you could team with anyone, who would you like to that you haven't yet?
Who have been some of your toughest opponents?

Fulch wrote:After you submit your answers, do you think the mods will discuss a word limit for future dispatches?

2nd part:

If you could team with anyone, who would you like to (that you have or haven't yet)?
What kind of gameplay do you like best (game type (singles / teams, ...), intial troops, and so on)?
If you would get 50$ per hour spending on CC, how much would be your yearly income?
Would you beacome a "CC professional" if you could earn the same as a pond guy?
Which area of the world you would like to visit?
What would be your concept for a pond map?
What question would you ask yourself?

What will be the tofu-kort final score? (Each point difference with the actual final score will owe you one whipping from cat)
How are the tofu forums since i left; are you now posting 81% of the odd fellow s arms posts?
Why did you let loutil buy armandolas s premium?
Rank your top 5 best tofu team game partners (no fuckin around, provide a real answer with 5 names, write something so that the others don t feel jealous though!)